What's wrong with me

Each day, I treat everyone amazing, I put the biggest smile on my face and act like everything is okay just to make others happy! I do anything I can for others, but why, because in the end I only get used, treated like crap, bullied, or whatever someone can do to hurt someone else. I can't recall the last time my family has told me they are proud of me. I pray all the time and look for my God, but he never looks back at me. Nothing ever works out for me. I'm never happy, I hate myself, I don't know what to do anymore! I'm close to relapsing with my cutting. I think of killing myself daily, I'm terrified I will hurt myself and I have nobody who cares. I feel worthless! Why me. Why am I like this. Why am I hated by the world. What did I deserve to be treated like nothing.