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What's wrong with me

Each day, I treat everyone amazing, I put the biggest smile on my face and act like everything is okay just to make others happy! I do anything I can for others, but why, because in the end I only get used, treated like crap, bullied, or whatever someone can do to hurt someone else. I can't recall the last time my family has told me they are proud of me. I pray all the time and look for my God, but he never looks back at me. Nothing ever works out for me. I'm never happy, I hate myself, I don't know what to do anymore! I'm close to relapsing with my cutting. I think of killing myself daily, I'm terrified I will hurt myself and I have nobody who cares. I feel worthless! Why me. Why am I like this. Why am I hated by the world. What did I deserve to be treated like nothing.
rckt148 · 61-69, M
Well can I say and not sound like your problem is not bad to you ,I know it is
but you are not alone ,
cutting ?what did that fix ?a cry for help you don't want anyone to see ?
Looking for God ? how do you go about that ?
Thats the same story the Church gave me ,,Well just give it to God ,HOW ??
Well you just do ,you keep praying ,He hears all ,no go away kid you bug me .
sound like anything you've heard ?
if you think no one cares your wrong ,
and if someone told you thats all there is to finding Christ ,they lied
I am not going to preach to you ,but I can share a story about how I lost it all ,wife home ,,,kids ,health ,but how I did find Christ ,
and how I can say now ,,the fire sucked ,
but now I am glad I can say I have been there
and the outcome was worth the pain
I can tell you how to not worry ,friends will find you ,and someday you will not be worried about your family ,
because of you ,they might be saved too
Message me if your interested ,,I'm not here to push anyone
17smitha · 26-30, M
@rckt148: thank you sir for the reply. I haven't given up on my faith, I fight every day, but it's hard. I just like to have an outlet on here sometimes
rckt148 · 61-69, M
@17smitha: Well young man let me give you a standing invitation ,
just want to talk ,kick around some scripture ,
talk about your dog or the guy that took your parking spot ,
I am more then happy to let you vent or we can just encourage each other sharing our blessings and remembering just how good our Father really is ,
I have come to know ,and I tell as many as will hear ,
We are humans facing trials so we grow from them ,Faith is only a word if we can't look back and see where we stood on it ,and it got us through ,
the World has no clue ,yes just like them I could have rode it out ,something has to give either way I agree ,
but I can say wait ,this anxiety and fear is not of God ,I know my Lord has brought me through much worse then this ,,Pray ,let my petition be known ,and stop worrying ,I know my answer is on the way ,He is going to touch someones heart ,he is going to open a closed door ,he might just shake that mountain right off its foundation ,He is faithful
If I put Him first in all things ,the rest is going to work out just fine .
I have 4 kids ,4 grandkids ,,can you see me trying to protect one of them in todays world 24 /7 ,,,but He looks after them all 24/7 ,and He has proved it ,,
SO I can lay here telling others how great He is from a heart that has seen it ,not read about it or heard it from others ,I have seen His hand move ,,time and time again ,,,SO I share how great He is ,and He looks after my family so I don't have to ,,and I have seen Him do that enough ,I have no doubt ,,
If just say He was selling insurance ,and he would promise to look over just one of your loved ones ,all the time ,,you know you would buy it ,
not only is he looking over my entire family ,,He says He is going to do it right on through eternity ,,and how many families today do you know of that every single member of the family know they are saved ,and all believe the same way?
Thats my Lord ,,He heals the sick ,He carries my lame butt ,and provides and watch's over us all ,,and I do not care who mocks Him my Brother
their loss not mine
God bless ya man ,
like i said ,wanna talk hit me up anytime
Rick
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's the people around you.
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Malina · 56-60, F

 
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