Pretty privilege

Me and my best friend were talking about pretty privilege and she told me that she thinks it’s unfair that I use pretty privilege to my advantage.

Me and my best friends are both in college and she told me that she think it’s unfair that I use my looks to get what I want from my professors, but I don’t think it’s unfair.

It’s not like I’m flirting with my professors or doing anything, I’m not really doing anything other than existing.

And to be fully transparent, yes, I do put in a little extra effort into my looks if I have a prescription or if I’m going to talk to one of my professors, but I’m not doing anything wrong, and it’s not like I ask them to give me an extra grade.

Yet my best friend thinks I’m in the wrong because apparently I smile too much and hold eye contact for a little too long, which I don’t think is true, I’m just paying attention during the lecture.

So I’m wondering if she’s right or if I’m right, because I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong, it’s not like I’m flirting or anything.

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Convivial · 26-30, F

Interesting question... Is there a difference between using your looks compared to using your brains to get through life?

Sanddune26 · 18-21, FNew

@Convivial yeah, there is. One is earned, the other isn’t, one requires time and effort and the other doesn’t. You’re grown, you should know that.

InfoTunaBotTheReturn

If you are able to leverage looks to achieve more favourable grades then it's your professors who are corrupt. If they are doing their jobs properly and with integrity then your looks would be of no value to your education.

Sanddune26 · 18-21, FNew

@InfoTunaBotTheReturn I wish everyone thought like you. And I earned my grades, my looks have nothing to do with it

DaddyP · 61-69, M

I don’t understand why your friend thinks she’s the arbiter or right and wrong regarding personal beauty habits or person to person interactions. In the best case, the recipient of your good looks, eye contact, smiles or possible flirting would be the only person affected, and so the only person who could render a judgement, if any. In other words, if your professor or strangers don’t tell you to stop, or say you make them uncomfortable, it’s not really anyone else’s business. Is it?

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Sanddune26 · 18-21, FNew

@DaddyP it does, but I don’t think she’s jealous of me, she’s a very pretty girl in her own right and she has never been the jealous type

DaddyP · 61-69, M

@Sanddune26 well, she has the right to think what she feels, whether it’s jealousy or judgment or something else. But in mentioning it, or criticizing you, there’s an implied goal… a change of behavior, implanting guilt, etc. IMO, she doesn’t have the right to make you feel bad, if you yourself don’t. So why would she bring it up at all?

Sanddune26 · 18-21, FNew

@DaddyP I never really thought about that…. Honestly you made me see this in a whole different light.

adhane05 · 36-40, M

If she knows you're not flirting as an advantage, then what else would it be other than jealousy? I think it's admirable to work for what you want and not use your looks to get it.

Sanddune26 · 18-21, FNew

@adhane05 I genuinely don’t want to overshare online, but I didn’t really even say my biggest issue with her out of respect. The whole conversation started because I told her about a few creepy encounters I’ve had with a few of my professors and she proceeded to bring up pretty privilege and that I shouldn’t complain for get special treatment because of my looks.

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