I am 78, never married, had 2 abor*ions and now my mother has been dead since 2008

A baby is a dream for other women.

My younger sister was her dream, ie: my mother's. My older sister was her "expectation". My younger brother was my father's assertion.

I was her mistake.

Sorry life's given you these struggles. Maybe once the divorce is finalised and life is more stable you could consider fostering or adoption. All of my children are adopted and I know of some single mum's who are doing a great job of raising a child by themselves.

It was your mother who loved you before you were born - who carried you for a long months close to her heart and in the fullest of time took God's hand in hers and passed through the valley of shadows to give you life. It was she who cared for you during the helpless years of infancy and scarcely less dependent years of childhood. As you have grown less dependent, she has done the countless, thoughtful, trouble-healing, helpful and encouraging things which somehow only mothers seem to know how to do. You may have accepted these attentions more of less as matters of course and perhaps without conscious gratitude or any expressions of your appreciation. You are rapidly approaching the time in life when you will be entirely independent of your mother. The ties which dependency has bound you to her may be served as you grow older, but the tie of mother-love can never be broken.

My wife told me in the first two weeks of our dating that she couldn't have kids. She wanted to make sure it was not going to be a problem. 36 years later we are still together. She had the mommy bug really bad. We tried adopting, but it is not as easy as people think. She is 70 now and has come to terms with not being a mommy. On Mother's Day she stays in all day though. It still bothers her to this day.