I talked about a extremely painful part of my life, and I triggered my trauma

I felt dissociated, my heart rate was fast, I felt sleepy and awake, sad, and many realisations.
I've been living with CPTSD my entire life, I dissociate a lot when I'm stressed, it's not obvious to others but it's like I'm not fully present.

It's never feeling fully safe, it's not wanting to get too close to others, seeking comfort in solitude, not showing my real self outside and feeling disconnection because of it, hyper awareness, reading others, sensitivity to judgement, fear of being misunderstood and crappy self image.

Logic doesn't work, it's not a question of character, it's just always there like breathing.
I feel weird and uneasy today 😔

Carebear412 · 41-45, F

Honestly I can relate to a lot if not all of what you said. The good thing is if you are going to therapy you are doing what is necessary yes it's hard, yes it's sucks , but in the long run you will come out of the battle feeling better. It might take years, but the alternative is much worse.