I've been living like that for the past 10 or so years. Moving exactly nowhere in my life on any front. Maybe I need to decide to make it more livable on my own. Take a chance. Move somewhere. Devote myself to something. Just maybe.
@Twinksy @Steve42 Neither of you know how long you have to live. I do. 11 months, max. Today is my last birthday. I made it 29 years. I’ve also actually been suicidal most of my life. But life is intensely beautiful.
I have 11 months to live. I will be living my life accordingly. Today is my last birthday. It could just be my last day. It could be yours. And then…?
this is a bit of a tangent, the morning of my last birthday i had a dream. i dont usually remember any dreams, but in this one there were a bunch of kids playing with, tormenting really a hamster with helium balloons. they thought it was really fun to wrap the string around the hamsters leg and let the balloons cary him up into the air. then they would drag him back down, change legs and go again. until they messed up and got the string wrapped around his neck and the balloons floated up out of reach.
then someone told me that I'd never comprehend freedom until i understood why the hamster didn't fear the string.
its probably a little bad, but far from the worst.
I don't really think so. After watching so many "near-death experience" accounts, and seeing so many commonalities among them, I, like so many people who have have actually died and been resuscitated, believe there IS no such thing as death. There's not even any lapse in consciousness.
Personally, I'm quite looking forward to transitioning into the non-physical realm, and experiencing the bliss of the pure, positive energy we truly are. It's not an end, it's a beginning.
You need to find pleasure in your life. Figure out what you like to do, and do more of it. Extend your ideas to things you never got around to trying. I bought an electric guitar and have been learning to play, it is amazing. There are lots of instruments I would love to try. I keep thinking of trying wind surfing. I am 65. Find your "thing".
@JamesBugman Hate to sound negative, as that isn't really me, but I think I have given up trying to find the certain something. Believe me I have tried quite hard. Nature lights up my soul however, but where I live it's too damn hot to get out and enjoy it on a daily basis. Perhaps I just have the summer blues again.
Gosh, there are two replies on here who's actors have blocked me already. Nah, I have the same attitude to the subject matter. Life isn't yours to take away, and if don't understand that one need to do something before it ends, well, that's too bad. Those are my thoughts are present
Get some help. There is more to life than how you are feeling. One would have to know your history and why you currently don't care. Do you have relatives, family, friends to talk with? Start there. Do you want to change? So much to think about....
In a way yes because it means you're reconciled with death and accept your own mortality. But on the other hand, it's not the healthiest thought to have before going to sleep.
@LordShadowfire I guess... but I'm not sure what to do about that. I am basically a person with a positive mindset, don't want to take drugs for depression either... but sometimes your positivity just doesn't change things
@Twinksy i appreciate your compliment about the wisdom. Would you mind if i pm you? Id like to talk about what you've just told me :) Promise i don't bite!
