Going through a crisis rn-

Is this feeling caused by comparing yourself to the current state of parenting portrayed in the media, about parents seeking to be buddies with their kids, totally involved in their lives, all the arranged play dates, youth sports and other group activities? Compare to that, in some ways I could consider myself "neglected" as well. I was bed-ridden for a significant period of my childhood, so my mother had no choice but to take care of me and homeschool me. But at the same time, she had to largely take care of the farm, the large garden we relied on for a good portion of our food, the various farm animals while my father worked in town to support us. So a most of each day was in my bedroom watching and listening to her activity.

Later when I went back to school I found myself woefully behind in social skills with my peers, but significantly ahead in every other aspect of life. I had learned coping skills, self-reliance. I think back on my high school days, and I marvel at the level of independence I was allowed compared to today's generation of kids. Granted, times were different, but I was involved in a lot of extracurricular activities that kept me after school and hitich hiking home; out at night to various events relying on rides home. Again, neglect, or being allowing to develop self-reliance, self-confidence?

I remember the summer my youngest son declared it his "summer of independence". He was a latch key kid; came home from school to an empty house. Spent a lot of time alone in his room, or the model train room he created off the laundry room, his cat his only company. So that summer of independence, at the dinner table, he announced how far he had rode his bike through town until he felt he was entering unsafe areas and turned around. My immediate reaction was, similar to yours, are we neglecting him, giving him too much freedom? Then I thought, where he turned around was exactly the boundary I would set for his bicycle riding and how much better he could determine that on his own rather than feeling he was being kept on a leash, smothered in group activities, or have a hovering adult supervising all his learning experiences.

There is a midpoint somewhere between being neglected and being overly coddled. We all have to find it ourselves..

I think many people go through these thoughts in your age range. You ask yourself many questions that hurt and make you wonder but over time you reconcile with it and most of the past won't even matter. Maybe I'm wrong, just speaking from my experience.