What would you make of this?
I've been with my therapist several months now, and while she is very kind and nonjudgemental, unfortunately does not offer much in a session. Mostly nods and when I think she is going to say something more, she just agrees with what I said, and does not extend. I've been thinking of probably leaving therapy soon, even though I do like her, I just do need more.
But today, I am unsure whether to take what she said in a positive way, or what.
I talked of how I felt inept in a certain part of my life (I've mentioned it a few times before too). And that due to my narcissist mom's voice always in my subconscious, picking me apart, (every day of my life, for years upon years), That I wasn't sure I could 'do' this task I have feared. She looked at me kind of bluntly, Almost with a HINT of an attitude, (maybe for my benefit? not sure)... and said, 'What do YOU think? do you think YOU can do it?' And while I know what she means... I just felt like, I'm not sure really. Because frankly, I was saying, I have feared this issue in my life for YEARS, b/c I do NOT think I could do it. That is my dilemma. And then she did end it with, 'You are not any of what your mom said, and need to separate your 'Self', from her words.'
Of course the last part is positive, but it is NOT easy to do this. This was severe, EXTENSIVE trauma. I told her, I don't even HAVE a self, to separate... it was that bad. I was told not to even TALK or LAUGH in my home. It was nearly a cult. And I explained that to her, after she said the words above, and she made a semi, sad face and said, 'I know...' I felt like she was almost insinuating, I should have already known I can do what I feared.. or that it's easy to just separate from Years of debilitating, demonic abuse. What are your thoughts?
But today, I am unsure whether to take what she said in a positive way, or what.
I talked of how I felt inept in a certain part of my life (I've mentioned it a few times before too). And that due to my narcissist mom's voice always in my subconscious, picking me apart, (every day of my life, for years upon years), That I wasn't sure I could 'do' this task I have feared. She looked at me kind of bluntly, Almost with a HINT of an attitude, (maybe for my benefit? not sure)... and said, 'What do YOU think? do you think YOU can do it?' And while I know what she means... I just felt like, I'm not sure really. Because frankly, I was saying, I have feared this issue in my life for YEARS, b/c I do NOT think I could do it. That is my dilemma. And then she did end it with, 'You are not any of what your mom said, and need to separate your 'Self', from her words.'
Of course the last part is positive, but it is NOT easy to do this. This was severe, EXTENSIVE trauma. I told her, I don't even HAVE a self, to separate... it was that bad. I was told not to even TALK or LAUGH in my home. It was nearly a cult. And I explained that to her, after she said the words above, and she made a semi, sad face and said, 'I know...' I felt like she was almost insinuating, I should have already known I can do what I feared.. or that it's easy to just separate from Years of debilitating, demonic abuse. What are your thoughts?
