Wasted my life entirely

I focused my life around raising my children. I had 4. It was complete.waste of time and I recommend people to avoid doing it.

I enjoyed looking after them up until roughly lock down so about 20 years. I did all the baking, knitting, church groups, took them to museums, beaches, Disney, helped with homework, cooked food from scratch that took hours and they didn't eat it and I thoroughly enjoyed it all.

Then lock down came. My 20 year old left his job at mercedes to sell weed, he had his own place a good job and now he has nothing. My 14 year old started smoking weed, she refused to go back to school after lockdown and now she's 16 she's a miserable, horrible girl who is wasting her life. My 18 year old is studying law and my 13 year old seems unscathed.

But overall I feel I wasted my life. It was absolutely pointless. A woman did say this to me before I had children. She said "I wish I didn't have children. If I could go back I wouldn't have any" and I thought she was mean and maybe depressed but now I think she has a point.

It's a waste of time. What's the point? Society is a waste, these children are miserable and stuck in this society that sucks and even if they seem like they're doing ok something comes along and it turns to mud.

It's also true that all baby animals are cute but human babies are not. Not a troll btw just a mother who can't take anymore name calling, bullying, ignorant, selfish behaviour in her life.

I had to get it out. I know people are going to feel how I felt when somebody said it to me, that I'm horrible or depressed but it's how I feel.