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Whelp… I’m kinda losing it

Found out my mom’s Pap smear came back abnormal

She’s awaiting the second part of results and doctor sent her upstairs during her visit to make appointment for colposcopy

She might have cervical cancer. And what I’m scared of but didn’t mention to her (even though I know she’s thinking of it).., her lungs had nodules on them recently when she was sent to hospital for chest pain

I’m worrying…

I poured some wine from my husband’s bottle… and I’m drinking it.

I have issues with my mom but I love her, and I know she loves my kids so much and they love her

I also have my period, so maybe I’m being more dramatic than I should. I dunno.., that’s it
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Ducky · 31-35, F
I'm terribly sorry. My own mom is starting to have issues with low iron levels and we're a bit concerned it might be something serious too. Like what you said here, I'm not ready for my mom to be having such health problems right now... But for whatever it's worth, you're not alone. They ruled out cancer for my mom, at least. Here's hoping you're able to get the same news for your mom. Be strong.
JimboSaturn · 56-60, M
@Ducky My mom is on her last legs too. She too has an iron problem. They can't figure it out her red blood cells and hemoglobin are disintegrating.
WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F
@Ducky @JimboSaturn it’s crazy when you are the child but an adult and need to be strong (it’s something I dealt with even as a child in my household)

Now I worry not only about my kids (who are so close with their Noni)

But ME… I have always wanted my mom to be there fully , and she really has been for some time now.

I just don’t want her to leave us all yet
JimboSaturn · 56-60, M
@WaryWitchWandering I love my mom too but we have been distant. No anger just distant. I moved away from my home town and haven't gone back much to visit due my dog rescue. I will have to go during the Christmas holidays. I'm surprised she lived this long she had an unhealthy lifestyle
WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F
@JimboSaturn I hope my kids never feel the turmoil I do… I understand being scared or sad

But I also have other shit brewing underneath that’s never fully been resolved between us… regarding my father (who she still talks with)

It all makes me feel like maybe I really was the crazy one all along

I hurt… my inner child is tantruming… adult me is jus sad and scared

I don’t know