Wonder where we'd be if lockdown hadn't happened?

Yeah but the truth is we're aging whether or not we've settled down and even if we have, it won't stop the aging. There's always gonna be a hurtful reminder in the back of our minds that our partners will find younger girls more attractive and their eyes will wander. So we grieve either way. I believe to grow older with a partner would be more painful in that sense. I have watched my mother suffer and age prematurely because of this, I have watched other women in the family suffer because their men prefer young girls.....The constant worrying that "he will leave" steals your sleep. The sudden realization when you hit menopause that your man was a shallow POS all along who only fcked you and married you because you were young and beautiful and fertile.
.....the grass is always greener on the other side.

I don't know what you look like but it seems to me that this might be about confidence. Women who stand out to me tend to be confident and self assured. Age isn't the defining charactistic - there are some women who are over 50 who are more attractive than some who are under 20. The way you write suggests that when guys do look at you, you assume that they are desparate or weird - that sounds like a low self esteem issue. You need to love yourself and others will love you too.

Men have to build or create their value in society while women are born with it. You see while the man is still trying to find himself in this world as a young boy he feels exactly as you do now, invisible, unsure of himself etc.

The purpose of your youth beauty and femininity was to negotiate as high a prize as you could for a long term mate. But that only last so long as women have a biological clock. Once you hit 30 it's the beginning of the end. It's not a nice thing to say but it just is what it is. It doesn't mean you can't find a mate or even a good one, but it will take a lot more effort and also giving up all notions of "the perfect man".

You say it yourself, you still have men to pick from only the quality is not as you'd like, but at some point you have to pick from what's there as you know longer have the same negotiating power as you did when you were 22.