How do you fit into a world you are constantly confused by?

Look, I know I keep posting about this, and I know it's depressing, but it's my life at the moment, and I need all the advice I can get.

M has no friends. He has had friends in the past, but they always leave for something else. Someone not like him. I conjure up a persona that isn't me. Everything he says is calculated: tell a joke here, make sure you say something here even when you don't feel like talking. Constantly focused on eye contact. Or no eye contact at all. Every. Single. Day is so hard. I don't know how to make it better. I'll never get it, but there isn't a day that I won't try.

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SW-User

sounds like they're surrounded by the wrong people and should focus on letting go and enjoying themselves irrespective of outer circumstances

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@SW-User But that's difficult when you feel so different. Imagine having compulsions that you HAVE to do or else something horrific will happen. Trying to explain that to people is hard.

SW-User

@ArminArlert ocd? Tbh what i typed is something that worked for a guy who had autism and some major issues but he truly enjoys life now and is successful bc he stopped trying to impress the wrong ppl

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@SW-User Yeah actually. M has OCD (recent diagnosis) and ASD. I'm not a huge fan of these labels, but in medical terms, M is a kid with "high functioning autism."

I do think you're right. Instead of trying to hide it, to have them be something we only share with family and friends, I would like to help him be able to explain his disabilities to people so they can understand and hopefully still want to be his friend. He is a brilliant child. A brilliant child who gets confused by social cues and some other things I won't discuss on a public fourm because that's his story to tell.

SoulKey

Relax with yourself. The rest will follow. Your internal dialogue seems critical. Also know that we all have been there btw. It improves with time, I assure you.

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SoulKey

@ArminArlert Only God knows

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@SoulKey With respect, I'm not sure if I believe in God. I want to. I really do. But how would any God let a sweet, innocent little boy suffer so much?

SoulKey

@ArminArlert Well, I'm not here to tell you what to believe

SStarfish ·

Maybe don't try to fit in and just be genuine with who you are so you can be real and not have a fake personality.. just be yourself

InHeaven · F

Poor thing. Is this about your little brother

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InHeaven · F

Is he like 15-17, I think from the other post@ArminArlert He probably hasn’t learned any coping mechanisms. Poor thing. Maybe, with time it will become easier

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@InHeaven He is. Just turned 15. I do think some things could get better as he gets older, but until then, I hope I can teach him some myself. Some that will work for him.

InHeaven · F

@ArminArlert you are a great big brother

Nebula · 41-45, F

Try and zoom your focus out, bigger picture type of thing

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@Nebula I appreciate your comment, but I'm not sure what bigger picture there is.

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