How do you fit into a world you are constantly confused by?

Look, I know I keep posting about this, and I know it's depressing, but it's my life at the moment, and I need all the advice I can get.

M has no friends. He has had friends in the past, but they always leave for something else. Someone not like him. I conjure up a persona that isn't me. Everything he says is calculated: tell a joke here, make sure you say something here even when you don't feel like talking. Constantly focused on eye contact. Or no eye contact at all. Every. Single. Day is so hard. I don't know how to make it better. I'll never get it, but there isn't a day that I won't try.

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SW-User

sounds like they're surrounded by the wrong people and should focus on letting go and enjoying themselves irrespective of outer circumstances

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@SW-User But that's difficult when you feel so different. Imagine having compulsions that you HAVE to do or else something horrific will happen. Trying to explain that to people is hard.

SW-User

@ArminArlert ocd? Tbh what i typed is something that worked for a guy who had autism and some major issues but he truly enjoys life now and is successful bc he stopped trying to impress the wrong ppl

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@SW-User Yeah actually. M has OCD (recent diagnosis) and ASD. I'm not a huge fan of these labels, but in medical terms, M is a kid with "high functioning autism."

I do think you're right. Instead of trying to hide it, to have them be something we only share with family and friends, I would like to help him be able to explain his disabilities to people so they can understand and hopefully still want to be his friend. He is a brilliant child. A brilliant child who gets confused by social cues and some other things I won't discuss on a public fourm because that's his story to tell.