Is it hard to imagine that I might need a break from life, people, everything once this van adventure draws to a close?

It’ll have been nine months on the road with a kid, then a solid two weeks to get back across the country. I haven’t had time to myself at all. Is it so hard to imagine I might want to hide for a bit? Or if that is my need, is it impossible to respect?

I’m being made to feel like I’m an evil jerk for wanting some space to myself to check in. To pause and breathe for once. Has anyone ever spent that amount of time alone with a child and dog, doing everything, all the basics which were never readily available like in a house (think walking 20 minutes to switch the laundry over, cooking outside on the ground), plus hiking, swimming, climbing, exploring, driving, daily adventures that require heavy thought and research because every where we went we were new and didn’t know what to expect. I have busted my fkn ass and given everything to my son and this healing journey…

Is it so shitty that want to balance, relax and clear up my headspace? Am I jerk?

SomeMichGuy · M

No you are not a jerk.

And yes, it was a lot of work.

But you chose this, and knew those things would be the side-effects/implications of your choice, I think.

Yes, it is tiring, yes, you had to do it all, yes it was hard because of how it was done, but...you chose this.

If it was to be a journey of healing, WAS IT?
In the ways you intended:

• Is your son better?
• Are you better?
• Is your relationship with him better?

If these are all yes answers, then this should be a triumphant, happy, whining exhaustion--but with wins all around.

If these are all no answers...I'm sorry, but you did try and you did get away with your son & dog. It is a huge deposit into the shared experiences memory banks.

SW-User

balance is one of the keys to good health ..
So no, you are not a jerk for wanting some space alone .. it is needed, and advisable for your wellbeing.

RebelFox · 36-40, F

@SW-User I just want to go hiking in my favorite spots alone. Write poetry and pain and think back on the amazing adventure I just had. I want to get a massage and put my phone down for the whole day and focus on my world and how I want it to be. Quiet time to think.