Anxious
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I don't know what this is that I'm feeling.

Like I'm pretending to be a proper human.

I'm a robot and there's a pilot in the back of my head that's trying to interact with people in a normal way.

Because I am an imitation, every thing I do barely passes as being legit.

It's a really difficult feeling to describe.
ButterRobot · 51-55, M
Id suggest you do a personality test...one of the Myer briggs ones. It'll help you understand yourself a bit better and also illustrate that you are actually (perhaps) just a different type of nornal (meaning not the majority).
caPnAhab · 26-30, M
@ButterRobot thank you for the suggestion. I've not heard of this test before
Look to your past to shine some light on stuff.

Also, scrutinize your current life through every lens.

I will just add that
self compassion, is a tall order, for most of us.

I suspect that you know what the answer is but, often the answers are not easy.
SW-User
You are human. You might just be feeling depressed. Take care of yourself.
caPnAhab · 26-30, M
@SW-User maybe. I've felt this way as far back as middle school.

But thank you
SW-User
@caPnAhab None of us are perfect so you can’t be hard on yourself. Try to live life the fullest. You’ve got everything going for you and you’re young. You’re welcome 😇👍🏼🌈🌟🌈
PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F
Well if you are talking about smalltalk it is a bit robotic, thats why I hate it. I like interacting online because you can say you're true feelings. I don't give a f*ck where someone's going on holiday or what they did at the weekend.
caPnAhab · 26-30, M
@PaleandPollutedyeah I don't care for small talk either. But I care about the things bigger than small talk.
@caPnAhab me too but it gets me in trouble bringing stuff up so I work on diplomacy and kindness psychology
SW-User
Sounds like you are disassociating
You are not like others your age. That is a good thing. Does it worry you? It shouldn't. Are you on a spectrum, perhaps? You are different for sure.
caPnAhab · 26-30, M
@PoetryNEmotion I'm not necessarily worried but I find myself an outcast sometimes. Which can be fine, I like my lonesome but it's difficult to relate to people.

I only have a professional diagnosis for adhd. Being a part of any other spectrum I have no diagnosis for.
SW-User
Sounds rough, sorry to hear it. Do you give yourself things to look forward to, and do you often socialise?
caPnAhab · 26-30, M
@SW-User I've got a few things to look forward to. I don't like socializing.

Well, I do sometimes but it's tiring
SW-User
@caPnAhab I hear you. We’re social creatures; interacting with others is beneficial for our mental well being. It’s finding the motivation that’s often the challenge, especially when you’re already feeling down.

Perhaps find a few people who share your interests and arrange hangouts every so often. I find socialising whilst doing something I enjoy (say music, board games, movies) is much more motivating.
SW-User
weird I was thinking abt this just an hr ago, derealisation vibes lol
ExtremeNext · 31-35
I always thought you were a bit weird 😏
caPnAhab · 26-30, M
@ExtremeNext ^^^ as you can see that I am obviously a robot ^^^
ExtremeNext · 31-35
@caPnAhab of course 🙄
SledgeHammer · 46-50, M
Stop smoking that shit!
caPnAhab · 26-30, M
@SledgeHammer but I'm completely sober
WhateverWorks · 36-40
Sounds like disassociation
I see the light...you are the light!
LordShadowfire · 46-50
I believe that's referred to as a homunculus. The little guy, I mean.
Lilnonames · F
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