What is it like to be you living in this broken world?

Is it a happy tale you're living? An adventure? An angst filled drama? Or a tragicomedy? Do tell me. I'm curious. What is it like being you?

I know sometimes you long for people to just ask how you're doing just because. I know you sometimes think, "If only they know then they won't judge..." But it isn't always the case. There aren't many good people who care. I'm sorry if people always have motives for checking on you and some even like to judge and compare.

So let this thread be meaningful. Just a stranger asking another stranger, "How are you doing really?" I hope you're holding on. I hope that when you need a hand to help or an ear to listen from someone you trust fully, you have it.

I hope because truth is, I wish it for me too.

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Coralmist · 41-45, F

To be me...hmm. I have been a people pleaser for so long. People have walked over me for it. I grew up being ridiculed severely, for years. So much that by my early 20s, I developed an anxiety disorder. I second guess myself on everything, and after years of feeling I'm not enough, I'm not as this or that as others, have developed also life burnout. I feel I'm at bottom. I feel numb, like I barely exist. But I'm working on healing because I really want joy and love before this short life is done.

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@Coralmist It may have taken a while, but I take it you freed yourself? Good job.
Now you can try again. It must be a challenge breaking away from what you're used to. But I believe you'll find more meaning associating with people who don't like stepping on others.

There were times I thought I was pleasing people too, not for the sake of it. I was just giving a helping hand. But I realized people tend to come when they need me. It drains me. They trust me and they have good reason to. I know how to keep secrets. But thing is, I don't trust them with mine. It doesn't go both ways. Now I stay away from them. I just want to focus on me. Some get hurt but I try to be fine with it. It isn't my job to carry people's burdens for them and help them all the time. I'm working on myself now and hoping to be with people I'd like to surround myself with, people who'll help me love myself more and grow better. People like treasures. It isn't a great search but I haven't given up just yet.

Know what? Bottom is good. It means there's no way else to go but up. Climb my friend. I learned that the best person to help one is oneself. And it works but when you finally climb yourself out of that deep hole, you'll appreciate yourself more and won't take any crap from people.

Happiness is a choice they say. Let's trying choosing it. One little step at a time.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Casheyane Thanks so much. Yes they say, surround yourself with people who will lift you up, not bring you down. I don't know anyone who'll do that though. So yes WE have to start being there for US. ☀️🐞🤗💜