If I talk to him, he'll end up calling the police, I'll get arrested and my life will be ruined. If I end it, at least the pain will stop. He might be able to help me out. He is the ONLY person who would be able to calm my mental state if he lets me apologise to him. So, what would you do?
You are the best one to calm your own mental state. If not, you need some professional help to do so. Your whole life should not depend on the presence of one person.
1. Don't kill yourself. If you're feeling suicidal call the suicide prevention hotline and allow someone to help you. 2. Why would the cops arrest you? Were you stalking and/or harassing him?
There's nothing else I can do but die. There's no way I'll get better unless I do this and talk to him. I wasn't, but he's said I have been, just to try and get me out the way, I think. I wouldn't stalk/harass him.
If the police have already been involved and have given you a warning, it will be in your best interest to heed it and move on. Do not contact this boy or try to see him. You are young and have a very long life ahead of you. Do not let whatever drama or pain you're going through right now force you to do something like end your own life. There is so much more to experience in this world.
If telling him you are sorry and assuring him whatever you did or said won't happen again won't cut it, there is probably not anything else that would.