Struggles & Identity

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Anyone ever been in a relationship with a Narcissist?

Share your experience please.

Was that person medically diagnosed with this?

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SW-User Best Comment

Yes... married for 22 years. I am finally free.

Blondie1977 · 46-50, F

Good for you! @SW-User

SW-User

@Blondie1977 Thanks. It's been a really rough road and this past year has been scary and challenging, but I have great friends here who have helped me through it and I'm so much stronger now.

Thanks for the BA! ☺

FatherTime · 61-69, M

what sort of adventure are you looking for?

Northwest · M

Yes, and no, she was never diagnosed. One of the primary issues, when you're dealing with a narcissist, is that they will never accept it, and will not seek a diagnosis, and if by a chance they did, they will declare it null and void, because they know better.

Their behavior, however, will give you all your need to know.

There is no such thing as rehabilitation for a narcissist. If you're dealign with one, and this is a relationship, get out, it's never going to get better, and when push comes to shoves, it will always be about them.

SW-User

@Northwest Yep. They will never accept or acknowledge it.

Blondie1977 · 46-50, F

Their is no medication or treatment @Northwest

Northwest · M

@Blondie1977 Psychotherapy is the recommended course of action, but it all depends on how old the person is, and what caused the condition. In general, if you are a Narcissist, the purpose of Psychotherapy, is to get you to:

Accept and maintain real personal relationships and collaboration with co-workers

Recognize and accept your actual competence and potential so you can tolerate criticisms or failures

Increase your ability to understand and regulate your feelings

Understand and tolerate the impact of issues related to your self-esteem

Release your desire for unattainable goals and ideal conditions and gain an acceptance of what's attainable and what you can accomplish

One of the biggest mistake, people make in a relationship, is that they think they can change someone. You really can't. Especially a narcissist. If they "show" change, it's to appease, but they will resume their behavior, when it's convenient for them to do so.

SageWanderer · 70-79, M

The problem is that you don't realize what your dealing with until your in deep, then the effort to remove yourself without being convinced it's your fault. She was never diagnosed as far as I know but it didn't take me long to figure it out when I took my psyche rotation in paramedic school.

Blondie1977 · 46-50, F

Right, until you are in too deep@SageWanderer

SW-User

@SageWanderer Sounds like my situation. And her not being diagnosed doesn't make them not one. I think some have tendencies but may be aren't a full on Narc. But then again there different types

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

i’m not sure about narcissist but passive aggressive personality which is basically juuuuuust a step under narcissism

Blondie1977 · 46-50, F

True!!@DoubleRings

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

i suspect my dad might be a narcissist but not diagnosed

yeronlyman · 51-55, M

lots of people will tell you they have, but truth is a small percentage of the population (about 5-6%) are diagnosed as narcissistic (somewhat more common in men)

due to relationship breakdown and trauma, many people will perceive their partner as narcissistic (or other types of behaviour) due to behaviour change, but most people are not narcissistic in the diagnosable sense

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yeronlyman · 51-55, M

@Blondie1977 here i used the term "small percentage" and denoted the mathematical statement of 5-6% to clarify. its in the maths not necessarily the word.

I could have said a large percentage are not narcissistic (94-95%) and that would be as true

i prefer not to use (and i try to avoid) the word "very" as i follow the recommendation of James Watson (the DNA guy) who advises against using the word "very" in scientific terms as this is clarified by the statistic

in relative terms, the word narcissic is often used and increasingly referred to in peoples behaviour. In reality the rate of diagnostic narcissism is lower than what might be perceived in reality, hence the use of the "small" identifier

abe182 · 46-50, M

@yeronlyman that's one in twenty who have been diagnosed. Now how many narcissists are going to get diagnosed? Let's safely say one in three. So the percentage jumps to three out of every seventeen people.

yeronlyman · 51-55, M

@abe182 though i accept the risk of under diagnosis, i think its not as prevalent as we may think as they use extrapolation statistics to form estimation. lots of medical statistics are formed that way.

i believe narcisstic behaviour is prevalent but pathological narcissism is low at 5-6%

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

No but my mother is a narcissist so I have dealt with one my entire life.

Stillwaiting · M

A couple of our marriage counselors used the term narcissistic traits and all have identified passive-aggressive behaviors in my W over the years. She still to this day acts as if there is nothing wrong with her behaviors.

Still here for my sons ... but the day that is no longer necessary is coming.

Dusty101 · F

Just my father!
Free of him 2 years!
Affirmation compliments were always desired...
Called us all failures!
If we did anything good he took the credit.. A brilliant liar.. Always asking what people said about him.
A constant chore on

walabby · 70-79, M

Not I, but I've seen a few. Most ended in divorce/separation.

I don't think it's possible to get a medical diagnoses. No narcissist would ever go to a doctor. They think that they are perfect. There's no real treatment, anyway...

Onmywaytochange · 26-30, F

Married three years filing monday everything is my fault i dont deserve our daughter i dont love him so i obviously dont love her o God the list goes on and on