Read this and give tell me what you think ok?

Realizing that my hopes and dreams turned from soild to cream I had a dream cant trust nobody its the same sequel love to much and trust and it burns up i dont need much but i cant help but want enough its all good just hope God lets a fool in again with the pen its like a scratch and win might need windows tinted dont want people to mock and get tunnel vision I listen I learn I speak my voice my voice my name its insane feels good to feel the rain but i crave like a broke man wanting a crave case but just incase I tried no lie dont wanna feel the flame need to stop cigerattes helping with the pain few seconds of gasp how long will I last turtle slow but the bunnies fasr so fast he tripped over his ass he lost and ate some grass he chillin now as pastime thinking grimey shit turtle dashed past and said "oops I'm sorry yeah right hardly" Bugs was mad so he tunneled up the grass direct hit poor turtle went airborne rabbit laughed but knocked the snapper and he still won thats a mark on that bunnies ass

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boklenholley7 · F

Can't rhyme trust with trust.. pretty sure that breaks some rule. Hard to read stopped after the first two lines.

Summersault · M

@boklenholley7 its really your own rules its your work tbh

LyricalOne · F

@boklenholley7 Yeah, that's pretty much where you want to hang yourself.

Summersault · M

@LyricalOne took it that far naw

LyricalOne · F

@Summersault You can take it in a car, you can take it in a jar, you can take it on a train, but too many words make me insane.

Summersault · M

@LyricalOne ladies 1st

LyricalOne · F

@Summersault Too many words? You've already got me beat by a mile.

Summersault · M

@LyricalOne True enough ik what you mean but theres a message and your being (up scene)

LyricalOne · F

@Summersault I don't like having to dig so hard. I'm a very shallow individual with mild retardation.

Summersault · M

Oh I read your name lyricalone nice :)
Sorry to hear that.

LyricalOne · F

@Summersault Yeah, I've learned to make it work for me though.

Summersault · M

[@LyricalOne You and me can make a SW duet then a small one.
How?

LyricalOne · F

@Summersault I'll give it some thought and get back to you. But we need to keep it brief. Nothing that will make our audience want to jump off a cliff.

Summersault · M

Cliff hangers.....