Questions of gender

I have been reading a lot of books about sex and gender recently. It makes me think about my own history with it. I have never felt entirely like a woman if I am to be honest. It's not like I ever felt like a man either, though as a kid I got along better with guys than girls, and I feel like I understand guys better than I do girls. It always felt like I had to perform to be a girl. Like I carefully studied what girls were like and tried to emulate that.

As a teenager I felt like an "other." Non binary is the term they have for it nowadays. That term wasn't popularly known when I was in school. I had a condition where I had an excess of male hormones, so I do wonder if that could be why I felt....in between I guess.

As of just a year ago I fully came to accept that I was a woman. I have been embracing girly things. I hated girly things as a kid despite being a girl. I liked things boys liked which is why most of my friends were boys.

Anyways I'm just rambling. Unkind comments will be ignored.