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I Don't Care If Your Gay Or Straight Or Bi

- Heart broken several times
- Sexually traumatized once(not that the other two were any good)

Sometimes I ask if I caused these things somehow,if I did something wrong to deserve these things.
I don't see myself getting intimate with anyone except maybe I'm in a relationship with that person,still it won't be easy. Nowadays,in the morden world,no one wants to get into a relationship without making sure that they are both sexually compatible. I mean...is it me?I am the one whos wrong just bc I am trying to be carefull with who I get intimate with...?

When it comes to love,I've never fell for "the rigth guy" there were all straight,and before you judge me,trust me that I would prefer not to fall for straight guys,always been more trouble than anything else. We all know that no one gets to choose who they fall in love with but somehow the gay guy is bad one for falling in love with someone whos straight. At all of the guys I had feelings for,none of them intentionally hurt me,except for one,who I have been thinking about all day for some reason,tho all that happned 2 years ago. He told me my feelings where a mistake,that they were never supposed to exist,that for the sake of our friendship I should stop feeling whatever I was feeling.Told me I was a cry baby bc I used to leave clase crying bc I was going through something personal...

Theres this other one,we have a lot of history together,9 years to be specific, tho nothing ever really happen between us.There was a period where we had to stop being friends because ppl were not only making fun of me bc of my sexuality,but there were also making fun of him bc we were friends. During that time I missed him soo much I wrote notes to him and sometimes I would write his name down on my notbook thinking about him. That was 7 years ago I think,and tho se fixed things,the friendship is just not what it use to be,and never will be. I keep those notes bc I wrote the way I felt about him on them,even tho I moved away,I kept them save with me,hoping that someday I'll get to show them to him. This morning I send him a photo of a page I wrote his name on(nothing else,just his name),and he send me the smack your head emoji and asked when did I do that,told him it must have been 6-7 years ago and he said he freaked out about those things I wrote,but added "Not anymore" to somehow make up for It. Tho the only reason his not freaked out by them anymore is bc I don't write about him.


Feel like I need to talk to someone about these things,don't really trust anyone tho.
coary987 · M
I hope you are in a happy relationship now buddy and having a bit of true love

 
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