So one question I have been asked is this: is being lgbtqia ever a choice?

I know for me it’s not a choice personally. I mean yes it’s a choice if I act on said impulses and attractions true but the feelings of being pansexual are not a choice. I was asked this by an older woman in her 60s who was not sure if being lgbtqia+ was a choice or something you’re born as. As a reference, her exposure to lgbtqia was not very much as she came from a country that really doesn’t discuss these matters openly in a Christian African nation. But she is a kind older lady who wouldn’t mistreat anyone even if she didn’t agree with their life choices. She likes me a good deal even if she thinks I live in sin. I can’t say she ever mistreated me for being pansexual or intersexed but she did ask me to explain what that meant. Sometimes a little patience is needed for those who have not been exposed to different people. So what do you think: is being lgbtqia something you’re born with or do you think it can develop over time and maybe for some people it is choice? I say for some it’s not a choice and they are hardwired that way for others maybe through life experiences they become that way. Either way does it matter? People should be allowed to love who they want. She said it’s not her place to judge and it is our lives. For coming from Africa she had a mild reaction to finding out someone is lgbtqia. Only like Cape Verde and South Africa and one or two more countries are they more tolerant of gender and sexual minorities.

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twistedrope · 26-30, M

Depends on context I suppose. Identifying could be acknowledging to one self or others.

In my opinion as a straight guy, lgbtqia is just... Living a way most comfortable or taking steps towards a more comfortable life with what your sex or gender needs are. That means not living in way that is inherently uncomfortable, unhealthy or unsafe.

That can include identifying as lgbtqia, it can include oppening up a dating pool, adjusting mannerisms, having more frank or open conversations on it or seeking medical advisement.

So, in my opinion, it is less a choice to identify and more a step to be taken or be in pain or in stress. Sort of like, is it a choice for me to brush my teeth? Yes, but neglecting to do so causes me pain and stress. Is it as much of a choice as me choosing not to crash my car.

Now, identifying with any group or community like a local lgbtqia community? That is a choice. I don't choose to ascsosiate with certain people, but i may ascosiate with others. Maybe even within the same group as I do with my coworkers.

So... It's just knowing the context of the word I suppose. And if its nature or nurture? I think its nature, but peoples choices, habits and experiences can determine oppenness or closedness or the feelings entirely. I don't think an event can turn a person who is gay straight, but self discovery takes time and a bad experience can scar someones sex or gender for life.

These are just my thoughts as a straight guy tho so. I could be wrong.

RoxyTS · 31-35, T

I think I was born with it and developed it babes. I loved dressing up. I loved wearing makeup and trying to be as feminine as I could. Then, I think, I discovered boys!

Then I discovered sex and I really never looked back.

I’m very happily trans, happily living and working as a woman.

💓

thechik96 · 31-35, F

It's not a choice... It's proven to be chemical

BohoBabe · M

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