My first love (I know this sounds corny)
At first I wann say this is my first post and idk if I am doing it right. Also my first language is not English so my grammatik might be bad.
I am a teenager. And I am Bisexual. So I don't have a hard live with my Sexuality but idk. I will Start with the Story.
So hey. When I was 11 one something I was in 6 grade I had a best friend. I had other friends and before I met her I had anozher friend who I would have called my best friend. So my bestfriend at the time I was 11 I know her for 2 years. I will call her Z. So Z and I were a tipical best friend duo. We texted everyday we met. We laughed a lot together. Jeez We had the same role in a Theater Club. So my bisexual awakining started. I developt Feelings for her. And I remember pretty clear one day. It was December and Z and I had a snowball fight then I want home. On my way I startet developing this idea. What if I texted her how I felt. So I imagined this whole long text where I confessed my Feelings and when I want home I actually write it. And I send it. And began to panik. I know Z would be by her choir practacing so I delete the message. And I tied it again and again and again. And then I just wrote: Hey I know sound a bit weird but I think I have a crush on You. I wanted to delete it again but then i saw that she read it. An hour later she write me if I was for Real. I said Yeah but it wasn't like I would wanna be together with her or something and I hyped we still could be best friends. She didn't Auswertung. The next day she didn't came to schopl. I felt bad. I Talked about it with my friend who I would call my best friend now. H. The day before I already told my parents about it. They were all supportive and sweet but I had a bad content. The next day Z was back at school. I askew her if we Could just forget about it. She nodded but ignored me the next days. At the Start of the first week she askew me if we Could have a friendship break where she could have one week to think about if she still would wanna be befriended with me. I said yes even if I was devestated. 1 Week later some friends of Z who I have never seen before asked me If I could come to her to speak about the Situation. I was a bit sad the she told stranger about the Situation. Maybe not stranger for her but for me. But I came to her. The two friends were still there and I asked why. She said for emotional Support. I was a bit angry but didn't said a thing. She said she didn't want to be my friend anymore because it was to weird for her. I said okay she went away and I startet crying. I had a clash 2 minuten After that so I want there. A boy from my clash asked me whats wrought but of cause I didn't wanted to say it but I thanked him that he cared. The lesson was a nightmare and After that I had P.E I just wenz away. A friend came to me sat next to me and asked why I was upset I told her that Z didn't want to be my friend anymore. Translate I think she litterally said: "OH that sucks but Z and I are also no friends anymore because she didn't talk to me as much as for a few Months." Idk why but I tied to comfort her While I sat there broken hearted and I just had lost my best friend. The next werks were.. idk okayyyyy we ignored us mostly and one day before cristmas holydays she whished me good hollydays. I didnt really remember that but I wrote in my diary from that time that my friend H said to me:" I know you couldnt know what will happend but it is all your fault" Wich is a bit harsh. Sadly my stupid lil me couldn't shut up so I tied to fix it. With... idk I texted Z that I made a mistake and how bad I felt and how mich I suffer. Blaj, blah, blah. She wrote me back that she didn't want to have to ever talk to me again and I should leave her alone. Then she blocked which I realized because 11 year old me got very mad and texted how she dared to Do that. Later I texted her about the school Website that I am sorry how I was and would leader her alone from now on. She also blocked me there. Which I can understand. After the holidays she ignored me. And gave me this cold Blick when ever I dared to look at her. Sadly for botj of us we had the same role in the Theater play so we had to talk to eachother. When this happend I realized how Nervus she was everything I Talked to her. I wanted to blaue one person and I wanted to blaue her for everything but most of the time I blaue myself. Weithin the next few Months I told the whole thing one Close friend and Figuren out she told this 2 other classmates she wasn't even Close with wich made me a but angry. Suddenly After 3 Months of this game she Talked to me normally and more offen. I was excited and happy about it. One day in May or something she called me her friend again. In June I accidently outed myself in a Biology clash where we Talked about different sexualities and I know a lot about it so an unfriendly person from my clash asked me why I know so much and If I was a lesbian. I didn't think of it so I just said:"Nah but Im Bisexual." He Stared at me and told it immidiatly to his friend who screamed through the class:" HEY IS IT TRUE THAT YOURE A LESBIAN?" I was emberassed Af. But I corrected him because I didn't know how to solle it any other way. One or two days later they started making Jokes that I had a crush on Z. It wasn't bullying but I didn't like it how they made fun of one of the hardest Times of my live. A week before summer vacation I had P.E again and Z and I couldn’t make P.E So wen sat at the side. These unfriendly boys come other and asked us if Wer together now. We both said quickly no and Z said:" Yeah [my name] doesnt have a crush on me anymore right?" I still had a crush on her but I said no. She asked one of the boys why He told the other boys that I had a crush on her. I felt betrayed again. She told the boys I really really dislike that I had a crush on her. URGH. I didn't said akything but I was a bit mad. She said ro me that she felt sorry about back then and she should have been nicer. So that is it. I hope my writing wasn't too hrrible and you kinda thought of it as an intresting Story because I just spend an hour of my life writing it. Were still in the same class. Now its just an akward classmate Situation.
I am a teenager. And I am Bisexual. So I don't have a hard live with my Sexuality but idk. I will Start with the Story.
So hey. When I was 11 one something I was in 6 grade I had a best friend. I had other friends and before I met her I had anozher friend who I would have called my best friend. So my bestfriend at the time I was 11 I know her for 2 years. I will call her Z. So Z and I were a tipical best friend duo. We texted everyday we met. We laughed a lot together. Jeez We had the same role in a Theater Club. So my bisexual awakining started. I developt Feelings for her. And I remember pretty clear one day. It was December and Z and I had a snowball fight then I want home. On my way I startet developing this idea. What if I texted her how I felt. So I imagined this whole long text where I confessed my Feelings and when I want home I actually write it. And I send it. And began to panik. I know Z would be by her choir practacing so I delete the message. And I tied it again and again and again. And then I just wrote: Hey I know sound a bit weird but I think I have a crush on You. I wanted to delete it again but then i saw that she read it. An hour later she write me if I was for Real. I said Yeah but it wasn't like I would wanna be together with her or something and I hyped we still could be best friends. She didn't Auswertung. The next day she didn't came to schopl. I felt bad. I Talked about it with my friend who I would call my best friend now. H. The day before I already told my parents about it. They were all supportive and sweet but I had a bad content. The next day Z was back at school. I askew her if we Could just forget about it. She nodded but ignored me the next days. At the Start of the first week she askew me if we Could have a friendship break where she could have one week to think about if she still would wanna be befriended with me. I said yes even if I was devestated. 1 Week later some friends of Z who I have never seen before asked me If I could come to her to speak about the Situation. I was a bit sad the she told stranger about the Situation. Maybe not stranger for her but for me. But I came to her. The two friends were still there and I asked why. She said for emotional Support. I was a bit angry but didn't said a thing. She said she didn't want to be my friend anymore because it was to weird for her. I said okay she went away and I startet crying. I had a clash 2 minuten After that so I want there. A boy from my clash asked me whats wrought but of cause I didn't wanted to say it but I thanked him that he cared. The lesson was a nightmare and After that I had P.E I just wenz away. A friend came to me sat next to me and asked why I was upset I told her that Z didn't want to be my friend anymore. Translate I think she litterally said: "OH that sucks but Z and I are also no friends anymore because she didn't talk to me as much as for a few Months." Idk why but I tied to comfort her While I sat there broken hearted and I just had lost my best friend. The next werks were.. idk okayyyyy we ignored us mostly and one day before cristmas holydays she whished me good hollydays. I didnt really remember that but I wrote in my diary from that time that my friend H said to me:" I know you couldnt know what will happend but it is all your fault" Wich is a bit harsh. Sadly my stupid lil me couldn't shut up so I tied to fix it. With... idk I texted Z that I made a mistake and how bad I felt and how mich I suffer. Blaj, blah, blah. She wrote me back that she didn't want to have to ever talk to me again and I should leave her alone. Then she blocked which I realized because 11 year old me got very mad and texted how she dared to Do that. Later I texted her about the school Website that I am sorry how I was and would leader her alone from now on. She also blocked me there. Which I can understand. After the holidays she ignored me. And gave me this cold Blick when ever I dared to look at her. Sadly for botj of us we had the same role in the Theater play so we had to talk to eachother. When this happend I realized how Nervus she was everything I Talked to her. I wanted to blaue one person and I wanted to blaue her for everything but most of the time I blaue myself. Weithin the next few Months I told the whole thing one Close friend and Figuren out she told this 2 other classmates she wasn't even Close with wich made me a but angry. Suddenly After 3 Months of this game she Talked to me normally and more offen. I was excited and happy about it. One day in May or something she called me her friend again. In June I accidently outed myself in a Biology clash where we Talked about different sexualities and I know a lot about it so an unfriendly person from my clash asked me why I know so much and If I was a lesbian. I didn't think of it so I just said:"Nah but Im Bisexual." He Stared at me and told it immidiatly to his friend who screamed through the class:" HEY IS IT TRUE THAT YOURE A LESBIAN?" I was emberassed Af. But I corrected him because I didn't know how to solle it any other way. One or two days later they started making Jokes that I had a crush on Z. It wasn't bullying but I didn't like it how they made fun of one of the hardest Times of my live. A week before summer vacation I had P.E again and Z and I couldn’t make P.E So wen sat at the side. These unfriendly boys come other and asked us if Wer together now. We both said quickly no and Z said:" Yeah [my name] doesnt have a crush on me anymore right?" I still had a crush on her but I said no. She asked one of the boys why He told the other boys that I had a crush on her. I felt betrayed again. She told the boys I really really dislike that I had a crush on her. URGH. I didn't said akything but I was a bit mad. She said ro me that she felt sorry about back then and she should have been nicer. So that is it. I hope my writing wasn't too hrrible and you kinda thought of it as an intresting Story because I just spend an hour of my life writing it. Were still in the same class. Now its just an akward classmate Situation.
18-21New
