It saddens me that being lgbtqia+

Is still grounds for persecution, harassment, discrimination, jail time or even death. Next month is lgbtqia pride month and it just had me thinking. I don’t think people have to agree with lgbtqia as long as it’s not used as an excuse to disrespect or discriminate against people. I know being lgbtqia in America is not perfect and some states allow discrimination and conversion therapy. But I do think it is better than some countries. For instance my mental health case manager is from Bangladesh in South Asia. She moved here as a child. We had a conversation about my intersex condition and my pansexuality after I disclosed I was part of the queer community at the local recovery connection center who works with the queer community a lot back in March. She says some people may not say something for fear of discrimination. Back in August, she had to ask demographic information about race, sexual orientation, gender identity etc. for the state agency you could choose to not disclose if you wished. I did admit to being pansexual but there was no intersex option on the forms so I just picked woman as my gender. I identify and live as a woman anyway. She was tripping over some of the options like genderqueer, genderfluid, queer for sexual orientation with pronouncing a bit. She told me when she asked some of her clients those choices especially the older ones they asked her if she was speaking English because they never heard of it. She had to explain why it was asked. She said it might be better if the client wishes to tell her instead of asking all these choices because. Maybe the client is not ready to come out and say it. In most Muslim countries and many other.types of countries, it is not tolerated to be a sexual and gender minority. My mental health case manager is a devout Muslim at least religious enough to be wearing hijab with covering western clothes And fasting during Ramadan. She has always treated me with respect and kindness. I explained to her about how intersex people are both female and male in biology. She asked before I found out as an adult there was not some sort of test that could have determined that when I was in the womb or a little child. I told her there was no need to test anything as a unborn baby or as a child because I looked like a normal female. I even got periods irregular heavy periods but menstrual. cycles.none the less and everything. I told her how I found out about it when my gynecologist office did a pelvic ultrasound on me and I got DNA tests done to determine my chimerism because of that ultrasound. She knows of my pansexuality/bisexuality and still did not say or. Do anything discriminatory. . I explained to her that being pansexual just meant you don’t care about the gender or sex of your romantic partner, just the persons essence so to speak like their soul and heart and mind first before their physicality. Maha is very kind and compassionate. We both found out we were introverts and she used to be very quiet especially in school. I got to know her better on those two to three car rides to the Recovery Connection Center. I found out she was a Muslim when she mentioned to my dad she was fasting and that’s why she might seem a little winded. She called it growing up in the religion and I said fasting must be difficult. She’s done it since puberty. I assumed it was Ramadan and I guessed. Correctly. I told her I liked her character and personality very much and would. Be her friend if she wasn’t my case manager. She thought that was very sweet.but even if she stopped being my case manager because I am waiting to get accepted into the adult clinical community services program, I could come back to case management at department of mental health and she would like to be my friend but it was a conflict of interest. I understood that. Clearly she is very moderate in her views and behavior. I have my concerns about political islamism and theocratic ideologies but that doesn’t mean I have to demonize innocent people who have done me no wrong. It is possible to coexist with someone different from you as long as there is mutual respect, understanding, and tolerance/acceptance if not agreement. She has a husband and little daughter who is like three years old. She is 34 or 35 years old. Her supervisor had her in mind as a good match for my family to be my case manager. I just wonder how can some people just blatantly demonize and dehumanize others who are different just because they are foreign or belong to a different faith for example. Now that’s not to say there aren’t valid concerns about certain ideologies. But let’s not demonize individuals who have done nothing wrong. I know she is from a country and faith that doesn’t like people like me. But she has never wronged me and likes me well enough. Even though most of her clients don’t have the family supports that I do. I think she respects people no matter who they are. I also can’t stereotype people from different countries as everyone is an individual. I know certain demographics tend to have certain attitudes, sure. That’s just noticing patterns. Being lgbtqia is riskier in certain populations than others. Personal stories and research facts bear it out. There are many places in the world where being lgbt is not tolerated well even in somewhere like Russia though it’s not illegal. I will also say this in Romani communities that are much more conservative and patriarchal. There is a high level of homophobia. So my white side of my family is pretty tolerant of sexual and gender minorities even if they don’t fully understand or endorse it. My Romani side of my family will still love the person irregardless and tolerate it even if they don’t endorse it. To be honest, I think because I’m physically female my family secretly hopes I end up with a man. I feel they are understanding of me being intersex. They are tolerant of my pansexuality even though I think secretly they would be relieved if I stayed with a man to be honest. So they are resigned to me being who I am and accept it but secretly. Hope I I pick a man as that would make my life a little easier. Although as my mom pointed out, am I really in a state to be in a relationship with anyone right now?
You know they tolerate my pansexuality but set rules on my clothing like I must take off my hand warmers to eat in the kitchen when my mom is around. And I must take off my coats, scarf, hat, and gloves when I’m inside a restaurant. As a condition that they take me out to eat.. in that regard. They are control freaks. I don’t appreciate being controlled or dictated to what I should wear at certain times. My therapist says my parents have set certain boundaries but I think their rules are just plain stupid. My therapist says they set boundaries and I set boundaries and I can’t change my parents. My problem is that she said we all make choices and I’m an adult and I don’t have to go to events where my parents have stipulations. There should be no stipulations is my point on my clothes and she doesn’t seem to understand that. Honestly I don’t think my therapist understands me at all. Anyway I’m all over the place. My parents should just accept who I am and stop forcing their ideas onto me. Even my therapist and case manager almost didn’t recognize me these last two days because I wasn’t so bundled up. I regretted not bringing my mid weight coat and warm scarf inside in the middle of the afternoon to wear yesterday because the AC was on and even though I was in a thick pullover sweater and pants and sheepskin lined moccasin flats shoes it was cold in there. I wore my coat and scarf in the later afternoon on early evening when the weather got chilly again. It was in the low 80s outside not even close to ac weather. Today it was mid 80s inland although originally it was supposed to go up to almost 90 and low 80s in Fall River ma I was still in pants long sleeve blouse a thick heavyweight cardigan sweater, and sheepskin lined moccasin shoes. I should have brought my fleece coat and mid weight pashmina for indoors in the mental health center. It was warm until about six o clock in Assonet. Boston ma today was well into the 90s but not here an hour away. I switched to fleeces long sleeve top and house pants when I went inside. I’m an idiot for not wearing my coat and scarf today. My medical transportation driver was nice enough to turn off the air conditioning while I was in the car as I sat in front. I also should have worn two fleece robes over my light pajamas long sleeve top and pants this early afternoon as I was inside where it was chilling not one. Anyway I will say more later…..