lesbianism & gender confusion

Before I start, know that labels dont matter. I'm just trying to gain a deeper understanding of myself.

I came out as a trans man when I was 12 years old. I am now 20.
I have spent all of my adolesent life going by he/him and being seen entirely as male by my peers, but in the last 3 or so years I've been feeling an undoubtable draw towards lesbianism. Its like Its ingrained in my soul.
The thought of going by she/her makes me very uncomfortable, and Ive grown comfortable and happy with he/him and my masculine identity.
I'm just in such a confusing spot, it's like im caught in a rift between my gender expression and my sexual orientation. I want to be seen as masculine, I AM masculine, and yet I want to be someones sweet treasured girlfriend.
Am I a butch lesbian? Am I a he/him lesbian? I love the concept of he/him lesbianism. Do other women like he/him lesbians? Are he/him lesbians common and accepted within the lesbian community? Is there any hope for me? SOS

JonLosAngeles66 · M

It's hard not to get hung up on labels. And your post highlights the complexities in gender identity. In our current society it's still a challenge to be yourself and not need to conform to black and white gender roles and designations. It sounds like you're very comfortable with who you are youre just uncomfortable choosing a label that other people will identify you as. I hope it changes so that people are left to be themselves and feel comfortable with who they are and who they love.