I don't belong

I am the person who constantly argues how being trans and being queer is normal, how it doesn't make us a different species...that we are normal human beings with difference preferences and choices than what society accepts as normal. But I am a hypocrite because at least twice a day I look in the mirror and I wish that I didn't feel this way, that I could be a normal 16 year old girl or boy who could just worry about exams, crushes, college and could go and chill out with their friends. But instead I am too scared to accept myself. This whole thing about 'being unapologetically myself' seems like a scam because how do you be yourself when you can't even look at yourself in the mirror without breaking down?