Discovering another pattern

I think I uncovered why I’m hyper vigilant around most people and it’s because I felt like I had to be when I was younger and even up to just a few years ago because I didn’t want them to find out I liked guys. I would assess how I was acting and talking and change. Now that I’ve accepted it I feel like I’ve missed out on so much because I hid myself to avoid peoples bullshit. I’m glad I had that realization because now I can try and change my behavior, or better put, not change my behavior because that’s what Ive been doing, and just allow myself to be.