I think I’m gay, but I’m married to a man…

I’ve always had an inkling I was attracted to women but have only ever been with men. I have kissed a lot of girls but only ever had relationships with guys. I’ve been with my husband for almost 10 years, married almost 5 and I did try and come out to him as bi a few years ago when it got too much for me to hide. However, he took it really, really bad and it didn’t go down well at all so I said I wasn’t and sort of brushed it over…
I turn 30 soon and I don’t know if it’s age, but I just feel so so strongly about women. I’ve even said to myself that if my relationship was to fail, I would date women. I also really don’t want a child and I don’t know if it’s because I’m not in the right relationship/with the right gender. I don’t know how to feel, I just know that my feelings for the opposite sex are just getting stronger every day and are not going away.

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Scribbles · 36-40, F

I had a year of much confusion in my life. I wanted and needed to figure out what was being true to myself, and what I wanted. I've always known that I was attracted to both genders. How I wanted to deal with that was always an open-ended question and depended on circumstances. I dated a woman once. I've dated men. I ended up falling in love and marrying a man. And that ended up being right for me. I probably could have just as easily found the love of my life in a different gender. But I wouldn't give up my partner or being faithful to him for anything. It became more about the person then the gender of a person to me...but that's me.

Good luck on your journey of figuring things out. And Good luck to your husband as well.

SomeMichGuy · M

Regardless of how you got here, your feelings are real.

Why was your husband so upset when you tried to come out to him?

And if your marriage issues are giving you a way to use being bi as a convenient escape hatch...don't. My advice is that you should consider that and try to both come out to your husband & fix the other elements of your marriage which might be wrong.

But he needs to hear you and understand that as a characteristic of *you*, notnas a reflection on *him*, his masculinity, etc.

gabo676 · 22-25, T

well im not an expert but i dont think its healthy to be in a relationship with someone that makes you feel like you have to hide parts of yourself for things to be ok. When i was questioning my sexuality i realised that my problem was to think about what would happen if i was actually gay and had to come out but i realised that instead of overthinking i had to just listen to what i wanted to do and not what anyone else would think about it

PepsiColaP

time to be honest starting with yourself

Ynotisay · M

"To thine own self be true."
👍

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