Unrequited love... Advise please

Basically I fell for someone deeply 2 years ago, she was my classmate and a good friend too me. When I fell for her I was scared of her hating me so I tried to cut contact, but I couldn't as she would frequently approach me and even before that she idolized me. When she found out she was like "I'm honoured" but I won't accept, she outed me by asking me out as a "prank".

Getting to the point, I'm transitioning to college she is in my options, I can't see her as a "friend even after 2 and a half years and last time when she knew she was akward. What do I do?

I tried to "treat her like everyone else" but I'm very friendly, nice and bubbly almost to everyone but I just can't interact with her as a friend I'm scared to look her in the eyes even. I remember I tried to act cold and indifferent in the past, but cuz im bubbly and extroverted everybody noticed and asked unwanted questions at school.

My question is how do I treat her like a "friend" if I'm honest to everyone and very obvious as in I can't exactly hide things? + I'm attracted to her still so what to do?

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DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

You should really phrase the whole situation down to it's simplest meanings to get a clearer picture of the situation...

Instead of unrequited love just say ... unwanted love!

Hiding behind such words as unrequited allows you to keep on trying.

No... Means no! Not maybe, or if, or how about. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Live with it just like everyone else does, instead of attempting to find an excuse to keep on trying... That's definitely in the creepy category. You have allowed it to become an obsession.... creepy

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MilayaDetka161 · 18-21, F

@DeWayfarer

I think you are exaggerating the situation in my view. And rn I'm seeking help because it's bothering me. I have plenty of hobbies and a loving family so I wouldnt call that obsessed

What is your definition of obsessed than?
And what is your experience

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MilayaDetka161 my experience is only someone that has had a lot of dealings obsessive behaviors from alcoholic mother to a guy that refused to quit with another girl. So I had to kick him out of town!

My only advice to you BTW is to seek help! Since you seem to not want to, that by itself proves my point! 🤷🏻‍♂️

MilayaDetka161 · 18-21, F

@DeWayfarer

How exactly do I seek help then?
Btw u sound extreme how could u even kick someone out of town? Like are u a mayor or something and it must have been have been hard for u as well dealing with them ppl! And you are assuming things which is illogical in this case

Helloeveryone · 61-69, F

nobody was sleeping every sunday same show

Sam17 · 18-21, M

You complicated things by trying to ignore her

basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M

Honestly?
If you can't get over her, you might need to have no contact with her for a while and try dating other people. If you're over her, you may be friends again. Who knows? Maybe then she'll be interested in more than friends. But it might not be the right time now and you torturing yourself won't make life easier for you.

MilayaDetka161 · 18-21, F

@basilfawlty89

Thank you for you help 🤍

I did exactly just that.

But let me make this clear what you are saying is "find a replacement of her" untill you can see her as a friend.

Firstly this approach is flawed due to my disinterested in dating and relationships which I don't care about and I'm not looking for anybody. Secondly I dated people to fill that hole and no nothing happened and I still like her.

And thirdly I'm 16 not 6 I know that no means no I'm not actively pursuing her at all. SHE IS STRAIGHT ...SO NO WTF.

basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M

@MilayaDetka161 ah...see I didn't know she's straight. That complicates matters. Unfortunately the odds of that working are low. Best to try to move on. I still say try no contact for a while.

MilayaDetka161 · 18-21, F

@basilfawlty89

Yh but physically I can't avoid her so how + she will approach me cuz she nice like that lmao

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