What is the importance of getting out of the closet?

This one is only for g(a)uys. Or not, if you feel like you can help me and want to answer the question, feel free to do as you wish. The thing is, a pass through a messy year lately, but one of the things that drove me crazy were my sexuality. Since past year when I felt in love with my college friends from now, I've passed through a whole odyssey of love and hate myself. I've realized things about my past, my present and my future, but especially about myself. And honestly, since then I started to getting used with my complexity and my sexuality. And now that I accept myself, I think I'm kinda ready to be accepted (or not) from the others. But honestly, i don't know if want to do it at all, cause I want to show to people that this part of myself is natural from me, and th wasn't one thing that I've suddenly realized or choose to be. So I think what I trying to say is, I don't want to make a big deal that will change the way people see me, but I know it will. But I just so tired of looking naive and asexual from the others perspective and I really want to beginning exploring my sexuality naturally and without fear. So I'm here to ask for you guys, what you think about the topic? Why it is important to gay people getting out of the closet, and should we do/don't??

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SW-User

Coming out is an individual thing. All that matters is whether or not you need it to feel comfortable. I identify as bisexual but I've never made an event of coming out to my family because they've always been very supportive of the LGBT community and nothing would change if I did. I feel comfortable exploring my sexuality without the explicit support of others. Some people have grown up feeling oppressed, or like they haven't been their truest selves, and they need that closure from family and friends. Knowing that they will be accepted with open arms (or not) is important to them when figuring out who to surround themselves with, so they're open about their sexuality. The act of saying, "This is what I am and I'm proud of it." is freeing to them.

What I'm saying is - It's important historically due to the systematic oppression of and discrimination towards queer folk. But if you don't feel that it's necessary to be vocal about it, then don't. You have the choice. You don't have to come out unless it makes you feel more comfortable. You're blessed to live in a time and place where you don't necessarily have to hide.

Arthur14 · 26-30, M

@SW-User oh, you were pretty lucky, huh. Unfortunately, coming out to my family is going to be tricky. Even though they are a little more flexible on their religious beliefs (I like to think they are rebels), I've heard some conversations that they had with mine little brother (that is much more open minded than they). Even though they respect the queer folks and would still loving us in whatever "choice" we made, I know that deep down they would be disappointed or something like it. So much that, according to my father if some of us bring his boyfriend at home, he would beat both of us at his house. But I do have some friends that I think know that I am gay (shit, even my professor demonstrated signs to know it) that could help me out. Still, thanks a lot for the answer.

SW-User

For my daughter it was her wanting people (friends) to know who she was, as opposed to assuming her straight. Once she made that decision the weight was then lifted from her shoulders. Of course that’s not the end of the story but it’s a good start...

Arthur14 · 26-30, M

@SW-User that's one thing odd about me. I started to realize that some of my colleagues already think I'm gay. I don't remember where, but I read it once the coming out is important because people already assume that everyone in the world is straight, unless they prove they not. For me, it's seems quite the opposite! But I think that because of that, coming out to them it will be much more easier to do than with my family (specially my parents, my grandparents and my sister. My little brother is much open minded about it, he even proclaims that he wouldn't have problems to date a guy if he liked him so much)

Primnproper · 56-60, F

For my son he took his time to accept it himself and become confident in his own skin so that when he did come out he was ready for the questions and the people that are shocked and he had answers for them all because he was confident in who he had accepted himself to be..

Arthur14 · 26-30, M

@Primnproper thanks for the answer. I think I've done so much progress on accepting myself the last year, so for the time being, I'll start to getting ready for coming out. After all, the day of the coming out is near close

Primnproper · 56-60, F

@Arthur14 I'm really pleased for you, be who you want to be and be proud of that to..

Arthur14 · 26-30, M

Thanks a lot for all the answers. I wish I could give the best answer prize to everyone who answered here. I'll all of your comments more carefully and answer each one of them individually :)

coary987 · M

You will know the right time to come out buddy don't worry about it.
You are not alone and anyway it's nothing to do with no one what you prefer I hope you are happy and have a nice bf

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