name a scam so prevalent we have forgotten it is one

I'll go first: marriage, when it is for the sake of a) the cessation of loneliness, b) having children as accessories, c) getting the house you couldn't afford alone, d) serving a man hand and foot because it is your sole role and ultimate purpose as a woman. e) buying your woman everything because you are solely a "provider" with a to-do list.

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GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

Too true about marriage. It has kind of always been sketch, though. Historically, many people often married for power or out of desperation.

I think it is also sad that YouTube ads/commercials are mostly scams now.

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@GeistInTheMachine yes..it seems like such a SWEET tradition to have your dad hand you off, along with a dowry. But if you REALLY look historically, it is more a patriarchal transfer of PROPERTY.

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

@foldedunfolding Marriage has long been used by the powers that be - be it Church and/or State - to control. Human "love" and sexuality is VERY exploitable. They know that.

My mother was raised in a cult, same one I was raised in. She met my father in that cult and married him in part because there weren't many options in that awful organization, and he was headed out of the 3rd world to the States.

I ended up in a hell of psychological and spiritual abuse I am still dealing with the fallout from.

That cult especially LOVES using marriage as a weapon, and many cults do the same.

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@GeistInTheMachine goodness, i am so sorry :( yeah i mean..what purpose IS marriage if not for taxation benefits, sharing of property, and honestly..a certain division from others? i would kinda almost? be more complimented? by a longterm boyfriend who didnt cheat on me, regardless of the fact that he easily could.

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

@foldedunfolding It happens. If it doesn't kill me, it will make me stronger, so no worries.

But yes, I hear you. It's quite a joke in the end. If someone loves you, they will stick it out for and with you. If they don't they won't. Marriage is not true security. It's a legal document. One that can be triangulated against you.

I have had some relationships that have been quite bad, and if I had been married it would have been much worse. Lessons learned.

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@GeistInTheMachine yeah it is this disney idea that you have reached some kind of closure..but worse: completion. if you are of the idea that you REQUIRE completion..you, kinda by definition, are not ready for marriage.

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

@foldedunfolding If someone wants a "disney" style relationship or marriage - run.