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I can be very naïve about some things online

I generally think of myself as pretty savvy about what goes on on the web: catfishing, predators, pretty dark behaviors. In the past, I used to go to "adult" sites where there were plenty of attempts to violate the TOS of even those sites! So I have seen a lot. And I have had my share of random private messages here on SW which clearly have less than honorable purposes. I think of myself as someone who easily can spot that sort of thing.

And so, I feel pretty sheepish right now for having given some things on SW the benefit of the doubt.

On the one hand, there are SW users who actively try to encourage sexual talk about children. Some of you know that I am part of a group here who alert each other about this and report those posts we think are inappropriate. And I sometimes go to those very posts and speak my mind, which often gets the perpetrators to block me.

On the other hand, I see a site like this as a place where people can share about themselves in a safe way (at least, that is the ideal that drew me to EP and then to SW.) There are posts here in which people discuss sexuality, and I have participated in some of those conversations. Some of those posts involve questions about our formative years, how we formed our sexual attitudes, etc. I always took those at face value. I did not see them as a roundabout way to get people to visualize each other as minors in a lustful way. (Other people, who I respect greatly, have voiced the opinion that that is what those posts are about.)

Well, I recently replied to such a post. I made a point of making my reply positive but terse, so as not to provide "fantasizing." A few hours after that, I lambasted the OP of a different post for sexualizing children. Today, I received a notification for a reply to that first post, and when I went to read it, I found I had been blocked -- from a post I had already responded to in a positive way!

That tells me what that poster was really all about! And i feel sick that I responded at all. (I don't recall whether the two posts were made by the same person or not. It could simply be that the first poster read my angry reply to the second poster.)

At any rate, I now feel a lot worse about an awful lot of what goes on here.

And I will be much more discerning about what I respond to!

I try to assume the best of people until proven otherwise. So this kind of revelation really depresses me.
DrWatson · 70-79, M
It occurs to me that there is a different possible explanation for what happened.

It might be that the poster of post number 1 really did have the best intentions but that some of the responders were offensive, and so the post got changed to private after I responded to it.

I would feel a lot better if that were the case.
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
@DrWatson If in doubt why not assume the best?
Piper · 61-69, F
I'm pretty sure most all of us have commented on a post without realizing the intent of the submitter of it, no matter how good our perceptions usually are.
DrWatson · 70-79, M
@Piper Thank you for that! 🤗
Scribbles · 36-40, F
Yeah, it's scary sometimes.

Tbh, I try to rely on what I've learned through countless mandated reporter trainings, and as well as clearcut posts that need reporting that encourage pretty dark shit, because of the danger they present.

As for posts where it's not clear. Yeah it's hard to know what to do there. Do you assume the worst or best case scenario or somewhere in between?

I'm probably guilty of reacting on either extreme.and down the middle at times. I have no idea when it's all online, you know? You just do the best with what the info you have. Sometimes I ask a friend or two to take a look at the post for a second opinion. And make a collective decision.

I don't think there is a one right way to deal with a gray area,.in which you don't have evidence of anything wrong yet. All you can do is question and be watchful, and point out when something is off, I think. And then make steps to call them.out and report as needed.

Idk, if anyone else has any better ideas, I'd like to know them.

I tend to have a very cynical view of humanity, there are far far more people who hurt others than not...so...idk. but there are also good people out there too.
4meAndyou · F
Just remember, my friend, that you are not responsible for other people's thoughts and behaviors. People sometimes get angry if they are made to feel guilty...and that's the long and short of it. If I were you, I would be grateful that this person blocked you.
DrWatson · 70-79, M
@4meAndyou Oh, I am quite happy to be blocked. What bothers me is that I replied to his post in the first place.

But...thank you for your kind words! 🤗
bookerdana · M
posts involve questions about our formative years, how we formed our sexual attitudes, etc. I always took those at face value. I did not see them as a roundabout way to get people to visualize each other as minors in a lustful way.

Man we're really in the soup if thats truue
bowman81 · M
I remain positive about people but am rarely surprised by how vile the underbelly can be. I put little value on blocking or being blocked as an indicator of a person's character. Sometimes it is as simple as clicking the wrong button.
[quote] On the one hand, there are SW users who actively try to encourage sexual talk about children. Some of you know that I am part of a group here who alert each other about this and report those posts we think are inappropriate. [/quote]

Thankyou for that, you should make the group more public.
RubySoo · 56-60, F
@BritishFailedAesthetic it can't be made public. Admin have set it so only those that are already part of it can see it, its not 'public' anymore.
Yeah. The more I learn about people, the less I wish I knew.

 
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