In your best native slang, give directions, or a description of something, in such a way that a tourist would have no clue what you were saying.

Go down to old man hellers place and take a left where the old water tower was like 20 years ago. Then go a spell down the dirt road until you see that goofy mailbox and turn right. Go another few miles and you will see old walters broken down barn, you know the one where the snowmobiles were. It's right there. Can't miss it.