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Upon being Jewish in the South

A couple years ago we moved from a suburb of NYC to The South. It’s not Deep South but it’s South enough.

At his new school my 16 yo mentioned he was Jewish. We are not observant or religious but it’s part of his identity. He didn’t realize the shit he would get every day. He grew up thinking being Jewish is no big deal, it’s different but common enough. Here, my son is possibly the first Jewish person some of these kids have ever seen in real life. Some of the kids (ones often wearing all camo or american flag clothing) tease him every day. Tease is not the right word. They snap heil hitler signs at him as often as possible. They say things like “Gas, hehe you know all about gas” or other weirdly non-funny holocaust themed jabs. not to mention stuff about space aliens and controlling the media. And of course, his nose.

What would you do in this situation? He knows in his heart that talking to the principal or teachers will get him more attention than he would ever ever want.
Harmonium1923 · 51-55, M
I got some of that growing up, though probably not as bad. I don’t know if I have brilliant advice but to some extent he’ll have to learn that not all offensive nonsense needs to be taken seriously. I mean, teenagers are going to make fun of everyone for something—usually whatever makes them different. Too fat, too skinny, too poor, too rich, too smart, too dumb. If it gets violent or really confrontational, that’s a different story, of course.

I hope it’s clear I’m not saying it’s not an issue. Just that you kind of have to pick your battles and learning to tolerate morons while being the better person is part of growing up.
Fallflower · 46-50, F
@Harmonium1923 He mostly ignores or rolls his eyes, doesn’t engage, and understands they’re morons (mostly uneducated). thank you for this
HikingMan · 51-55, M
Your recourse is to first document the harassment using a journal, and as much phone video or recordings as can be made.
Then lodge a criminal complaint.

Just because there's a ton of idiots and bigots there, it shouldn't mean he should have to deal with that.

Turning a blind eye won't solve anything.
Even if you manage to keep him from getting angry or reprisal, this thing is probably already taking a huge toll on his self-esteem and confidence.

Fighting back by himself will be used against him, and quite possibly result in unexpected consequences.

I'd also suggest that you record all conversations with any officials about the matter regardless of who they are. Those kids and that culture didn't start yesterday.

I'm sorry he's dealing with such a rotten set of circumstances.

Failing all else, moving is also an option. Even if it feels like giving up, it's more like walking away from a no-win situation.

Best of luck.
Be well
Live happy
Die trying,
Rob
NinjaStar · 100+
Yeah this happened to me too. I wouldn't discuss my religion at all in public because it's just asking for this kind of stupidity. Sorry I don't know what to tell you but I don't condone violence as a response.
Fallflower · 46-50, F
@NinjaStar yeah he regrets saying anything. but he also hates that he can “pass” as “white” when others can not, so that’s not really the answer either.
NinjaStar · 100+
@Fallflower You mean he can pass as a non Jew. I understand the dilemma.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
I really feel awful for you. There are no easy answers. The current wave of racism particularly anti-Semitism is appalling. Is there a Jewish population in your town, with a Jewish congregation? If so, you need to reach out to the leadership.
bookerdana · M
Sorry you're experiencing such bigotry...short of you ,the parent going to the principal and telling him whats happening I'm not sure what can be done. This should be tolerated,and it is not "just" happening in the South
Sorry to hear this. Antisemitism is alive and kicking everywhere and adding this to the way kids are cruel to anyone different, it makes your son's experience even worse.
We all echo things we here at home so my guess is that most of these kids heard antisemitic remarks from their parents.
I'm not sure how much the school administration would be able to help.
Are there any other Jewish kids in the school? Is there a community nearby?
Good luck and be strong.
sciguy18 · M
Hey, nice seeing you again; although I’m sorry it’s for this reason.

Not that this area is perfect, but it’s certainly more tolerant than others.

I don’t have any kids, so I have no personal experience I can share. I know that telling him to ignore it (even though that may be the best thing) is not the easiest.

I hope you can find some resolution.
Carazaa · F
I would take him out of the school immediately and put him in a private Jewish school. After that I would insist of an assembly education for the entire school for a week about Hitler and WWII and hopefully they will learn something and treat the next Jewish kid with respect! Hate is never OK!
ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP
The principal or faculty would have been my recommendation. Maybe he could talk to a teacher or guidance counselor he knows he can trust and see if there is something they can recommend.
I have no advice, but wtf is wrong with people?
Fallflower · 46-50, F
@NerdyPotato a lot lol
Northwest · M
Do you think it's safe for him? At times, I did not fee safe in Idaho, years ago, dining while Jewish. This is the sort of stuff that will stay with him for life.

I wish you luck, and maybe a promise of an NYU education in a couple of years.
Fluffybull · F
Wow, that's terrible. Report it! Here in Scotland the police would get involved coz that behaviour is classed as a "hate crime". 😥
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