Time for another joke
A guy’s wife says if he comes home drunk one more time she’s leaving. That evening, he ends up at the bar with his buddy Steve and gets so drunk, he pukes all over himself. He’s fretting about going home when Steve says, just put a $20 in your shirt pocket, tell her I got drunk and puked on you, but I gave you the money for a new shirt. He likes that idea so he heads home, and walks through the door. On cue his wife starts berating him for being drunk and puking on himself and as planned, the guy says “no babe, it was Steve. It’s ok though, he put $20 in my shirt pocket to pay for it.” She reaches out and grabs the money and says “well, why is there $40 here?” Guy looks at her and says “well, he shit my pants too.”