Fun
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Five Random Shorties

1.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there, I noticed four grave diggers walking around with a coffin. Three hours later and they're still pacing with it.

I thought to myself, "They've literally lost the plot!"


2.
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.


3.
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.



4.
Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.



5.
An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has travelled the world, swam with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
Glossy · F
Four more dad jokes, please!
Rusham · M
@Glossy just for you. :)
Murphy says to Paddy, "What ya talkin into an envelope for?"
"I'm sending a voicemail ya fool!"

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador.”
"Blow that," says Mick, "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?"
Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.
Talk about Dyson with death.
Glossy · F
@Rusham Top quality dad jokes. Would I be pushing my luck to ask for more?.
Rusham · M