Bob the Sailor & Ollie the Octopus
Bob the Sailor & Ollie the Octopus walk into a bar...
Bob the sailor walks into a bar carrying a large octopus. He announces to the bar that this octopus can not only talk, but he has a very unique talent which he will share with the crowd for $50 a turn.
Bartender says "There's no way that octopus can talk."
"Sure he can. Ollie, tell the nice folks you can talk." says Bob.
"He's right," says Ollie the Octopus, "I can talk. I can also play any musical instrument."
"True story!" Says Bob the sailor "...but if you wanna test him, you've gotta pay 50 bucks a try!"
One fella reaches into his pocket and says "Here's $50, and my harmonica." Ollie plays a long, slow, mournful song that quiets the bar and brings a tear to the eye of everyone with a heart not made of stone. This is truly amazing, especially since octopuses are devoid of lips.
Jimmy runs out to his car and grabs his fiddle. He hands it to Ollie with a crisp $50 bill. Ollie picks up the fiddle and plays a lively jig that has boots stomping and hands slapping tables. The mood has improved and folks are buying rounds for Ollie and Bob.
Seamus, an old, crusty Scotsman hobbles over to Bob and says "Aye boy, ye plannin' on bein' here for a spell?"
"Sure we are!" say Bob and Ollie in unison.
"Good then. I'll be right back."
And off Seamus goes into the evening.
Bob and Ollie have a few more drinks, Ollie plays a few more instruments, and everyone sings a few more songs.
About an hour later, Seamus casts a dark shadow at the tavern door. Clutched under his arm is the most magnificent set of Great Highland Bagpipes you've ever seen. Dark polished wood for the chanter, mouthpiece, and three drones.
The cover was done in rich corduroy, slightly worn from the years of use.
Ollie's eyes widened in suprise.
Seamus gently placed the pipes down on the bar beside Ollie with a wry grin and quietly said "Now m'boy...what're ye gonna do with that!?"
Ollie was speechless. He ran his tentacles over the individual pieces, exploring the instrument. He felt the cloth, the wood, the finger holes. He'd never seen anything like this.
Seamus got louder. "Come ON ye silly cephalopod!" which was strange for Seamus to say, being as though he only had a third grade education. "What're ye gonna do with this now?!"
Ollie looked as Seamus, and with determination in his eyes he said:
"I'm going to make love to her. Just as soon as I figure out how to get her pajamas off!"
Bob the sailor walks into a bar carrying a large octopus. He announces to the bar that this octopus can not only talk, but he has a very unique talent which he will share with the crowd for $50 a turn.
Bartender says "There's no way that octopus can talk."
"Sure he can. Ollie, tell the nice folks you can talk." says Bob.
"He's right," says Ollie the Octopus, "I can talk. I can also play any musical instrument."
"True story!" Says Bob the sailor "...but if you wanna test him, you've gotta pay 50 bucks a try!"
One fella reaches into his pocket and says "Here's $50, and my harmonica." Ollie plays a long, slow, mournful song that quiets the bar and brings a tear to the eye of everyone with a heart not made of stone. This is truly amazing, especially since octopuses are devoid of lips.
Jimmy runs out to his car and grabs his fiddle. He hands it to Ollie with a crisp $50 bill. Ollie picks up the fiddle and plays a lively jig that has boots stomping and hands slapping tables. The mood has improved and folks are buying rounds for Ollie and Bob.
Seamus, an old, crusty Scotsman hobbles over to Bob and says "Aye boy, ye plannin' on bein' here for a spell?"
"Sure we are!" say Bob and Ollie in unison.
"Good then. I'll be right back."
And off Seamus goes into the evening.
Bob and Ollie have a few more drinks, Ollie plays a few more instruments, and everyone sings a few more songs.
About an hour later, Seamus casts a dark shadow at the tavern door. Clutched under his arm is the most magnificent set of Great Highland Bagpipes you've ever seen. Dark polished wood for the chanter, mouthpiece, and three drones.
The cover was done in rich corduroy, slightly worn from the years of use.
Ollie's eyes widened in suprise.
Seamus gently placed the pipes down on the bar beside Ollie with a wry grin and quietly said "Now m'boy...what're ye gonna do with that!?"
Ollie was speechless. He ran his tentacles over the individual pieces, exploring the instrument. He felt the cloth, the wood, the finger holes. He'd never seen anything like this.
Seamus got louder. "Come ON ye silly cephalopod!" which was strange for Seamus to say, being as though he only had a third grade education. "What're ye gonna do with this now?!"
Ollie looked as Seamus, and with determination in his eyes he said:
"I'm going to make love to her. Just as soon as I figure out how to get her pajamas off!"
