The Butcher Dance (shaggy dog story)
There was once a world-renowned explorer named William Barlowe. William loved to boast that he had been to every corner of the world, and seen every special ritual and ceremony it was possible to see.
One evening, as William was enjoying a few drinks at a bar in Um Dafuq, Sudan, he began regaling the other patrons with stories of his numerous travels. His boasting got the attention of an adolescent boy named Mike, who said, "I bet you never seen the Butcher Dance."
William immediately perked up at the idea of a ritual he had yet to witness. "What is the Butcher Dance, my young friend?"
"It's a special ritual of the Um Balla Balla people. Only once a year! They gonna have it soon. I can guide you, mister! One hundred dollars American!"
"You have a deal," said William.
The next day, William and Mike set out on their journey bright and early. Mike led him through a dense forest, over the tall mountains, across a swift river, and finally into a clearing. Up ahead, William could see people wearing grass skirts, gathered around a big fire. "You stay here," said Mike. "I go ask about the Butcher Dance."
So William waited patiently, while Mike spoke to a large man with an elaborate headdress. They spoke in a strange tongue consisting of clicks and whistles. Finally, Mike returned to William, looking sad. "He say the Butcher Dance was yesterday, on the full moon." William was heartbroken, but there was nothing he could do.
He went back to America, and wrote a book about his travels. Penguin Books published it, and it sold 10 million copies. But he never stopped thinking about the Butcher Dance, the one that got away. A year passed, and William Barlowe once again made his way to that bar in Um Dafuq, hoping to once again encounter Mike.
He found him, bussing tables. "I been waiting for you!" said the youth. "I check this time, on lunar cycle app! I got the right day now! Same price?"
"Absolutely!" said William, grinning at Mike's enthusiasm. "One hundred dollars American!"
The next morning, they traveled through the dense forest, over the tall mountain, and across the swift river to the clearing William had only seen once before. Mike once again spoke to the chief of the Um Balla Balla, but this time, he returned to William, grinning from ear to ear. "We made it! They gonna do the Butcher Dance tonight!"
Ecstatic, William got his film equipment ready, and waited for the sun to set. The village fell silent as the moon rose, and the people gathered in a circle around the fire. Somewhere, unseen, someone began playing a bongo drum. The people began swaying from side to side, and the chief began to sing:
"You Butcher left hand in, you Butcher left hand out, you Butcher left hand in, and you shake it all about..."
Fin
One evening, as William was enjoying a few drinks at a bar in Um Dafuq, Sudan, he began regaling the other patrons with stories of his numerous travels. His boasting got the attention of an adolescent boy named Mike, who said, "I bet you never seen the Butcher Dance."
William immediately perked up at the idea of a ritual he had yet to witness. "What is the Butcher Dance, my young friend?"
"It's a special ritual of the Um Balla Balla people. Only once a year! They gonna have it soon. I can guide you, mister! One hundred dollars American!"
"You have a deal," said William.
The next day, William and Mike set out on their journey bright and early. Mike led him through a dense forest, over the tall mountains, across a swift river, and finally into a clearing. Up ahead, William could see people wearing grass skirts, gathered around a big fire. "You stay here," said Mike. "I go ask about the Butcher Dance."
So William waited patiently, while Mike spoke to a large man with an elaborate headdress. They spoke in a strange tongue consisting of clicks and whistles. Finally, Mike returned to William, looking sad. "He say the Butcher Dance was yesterday, on the full moon." William was heartbroken, but there was nothing he could do.
He went back to America, and wrote a book about his travels. Penguin Books published it, and it sold 10 million copies. But he never stopped thinking about the Butcher Dance, the one that got away. A year passed, and William Barlowe once again made his way to that bar in Um Dafuq, hoping to once again encounter Mike.
He found him, bussing tables. "I been waiting for you!" said the youth. "I check this time, on lunar cycle app! I got the right day now! Same price?"
"Absolutely!" said William, grinning at Mike's enthusiasm. "One hundred dollars American!"
The next morning, they traveled through the dense forest, over the tall mountain, and across the swift river to the clearing William had only seen once before. Mike once again spoke to the chief of the Um Balla Balla, but this time, he returned to William, grinning from ear to ear. "We made it! They gonna do the Butcher Dance tonight!"
Ecstatic, William got his film equipment ready, and waited for the sun to set. The village fell silent as the moon rose, and the people gathered in a circle around the fire. Somewhere, unseen, someone began playing a bongo drum. The people began swaying from side to side, and the chief began to sing:
"You Butcher left hand in, you Butcher left hand out, you Butcher left hand in, and you shake it all about..."
Fin
