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I Am Not the Person I Used to Be

I used to be this ball of sunshine parading her gleaming light to everyone, being hopeful and positive as always...

But when life happened, I shrunk into oblivion, turning everything into nothing... Bending hopes into doubts... Changing success into failures... Spitting lies as if it were the truth... I guess, life did really changed me, making me swap from the person I that I was to the person I wasn't used to be.
PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F
Okay, this is going to be lengthy and I apologize ahead of time for that.


Life is a funny thing. Well, not funny as much as it is a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum when things seem to be going a little too well for us for too long.

I was you. I am you. And I know it may be hard to see for yourself, but the light you once had is still there, shining. That hope that once nourished your dreams, still alive. It’s just that we go through very trying periods in life when we have to retain that light and everything good within us for ourselves in order to just survive. I know it can seem like they’re not there anymore, but they are...they’re just being used in a different way ensuring you get from one step to the next, ensuring that when you fall you have the strength to eventually get back up, ensuring that when you feel lost and alone that you remember you’re the only one writing your chapters and the only saving you need at the end of the day is already wielded within yourself to overcome those inner demons trying to squish your heart, light, and hope. You have to be the one who says Life will not ultimately change the beauty within you...it’ll only strengthen each and every facet that makes you the fierce creature you are. I know the heartbreak of Life is real. It’s so thick we can’t even breathe sometimes and once our eyes have been opened to just how unkind the world can be, it shakes us to our core...oftentimes changing who we are because we think we have to change in order to exist. But we don’t. We do bend though. We have to otherwise we’ll break. We can feel what needs to be felt. Embrace every ounce of darkness, failures, and tests that come our way because each one is going to add to our unique journey. But those plot twists can be seen as moments to really help shape us into who we were meant to become. Battle scars and all, we’re freakin warriors, man, and there isn’t anything we can’t conquer...and that includes Life and ourselves.

I fear to say the you you used to know may be forever gone, but the you you were meant to become...man, that person right there will be beautiful beyond anything you could ever imagine because that person is not only comprised of everything good you loved about yourself once upon a time but also everything only a fighter and survivor would take the opportunity to harness and take the world on with. That’s pretty damn badass, if you ask me 💪🏻
@PerfectionOfTheHeart damn, man. I loved how you managed to put every thought in your comment. It's really refreshing to read lengthy thoughts like this. It surely help a lot. The points were accurately given, enlightening the person you're referring to. I'm enlightened. This piece of yours will remain in me. Every ounce of my being understood every letter, every word that's written in it. Thank you... It was beautiful.
PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F
@yourstrulytrish That makes me happy to hear. Each word is yours to keep as long as you need to. You’re welcome and thank you for this post so those words could reach you ☮️
@PerfectionOfTheHeart Thank you. Your words are a blessing to my soul... And so are you😇
SW-User
Hope you get back to being a ball of sunshine :-)
@SW-User aww. Thank you. I hope so, too :(
@DearAmbellina2113 but it's not that sad, right? At least you get to have a new perception. You've learned some things you still haven't known yet...
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
@yourstrulytrish I'm not sad at all. I was a total doormat and allowed people to use me up for years. I was a people-pleaser and it drained me. I'm much more self-reliant now and not afraid to call people on their bullshit.
@DearAmbellina2113 damn. I thought you read my mind. That's me just a year ago. But now, I know who to please and who to ignore. Because let's be honest here, they were contributors as to why we were what we are right now.

 
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