Not sure what I am doing back here again

I was doing so well for a period and then January 2024 hit me like a freight train and the rest of the year just blew up. I've been trying to recover since then. Now I am wondering if I'll ever get back to that healthier happier me I was just finally starting to get to. I feel like the rose colored glasses I was wearing aren't working any more. I am starting to slide. I used to come here a lot years back and I made a decision to stay away for personal reasons that made a lot of sense at the time and I did for a long while but now I am feeling that pull again mainly because I just don't feel like I can really talk to anyone in my life right now. Honestly I know I have it a lot better than a lot of people so I am trying to just suck it up, but I just need some distractions. I need to escape my thoughts for a bit.