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Thoughts, ramblings, struggles, same ol’ same ol’

Heartbroken and angry lately. Never mind the details because they don’t actually matter.
I’m reflecting on Ephesians 6:12.
These people who’ve hurt me and screw me over aren’t my enemies even if it really feels like it lately.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood…”

How someone else failed a test of character, their chance to choose to be honorable over opportunistic doesn’t excuse my failings in dealing with the situation; my lack of faith.
“I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. Oh, when will you come? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.” This is what I should strive for.

People can and might take everything from me, and it’s for me to focus on the Lord and trust that I’ll be cared for.

“…I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” My life verse, which I’ve forgotten lately.

If I end up in debt again or worse, I’m going to be okay.
As I continue to learn forgiveness, I expect more obstacles. I overcome them if I can stop seeing these people as enemies and try instead to see the reality of the situation; what’s happening spiritually. It’s not personal on their part; they’re just afraid that they won’t be taken care of, and that they’re alone in their struggles.

(If I have to continue to live, then I have to participate in this spiritual walk and battle. My heart can’t be the way it was for too long.)
Hmmm, very valid points. I’m not sure what the specifics of your situation are. I pray God will guide you with grace and peace. I’ve been praying for a lot of that myself lately. Don’t forget though, God also wants us to stand up for what is right. You’re not a doormat. We can be firm and assertive while being respectful and kind. If you’d like, you can pm me what you’re struggling with. My husband is very clever when it comes to avoiding/fixing debt :) Maaaybe we might be able to help you figure something out? Maybe not, but worth a shot!
@cherryxblossom Thank you. 🧡 I appreciate that. I might if things get worse. So far, I’m taking some steps to prevent the worst. It just hurts because I know the intent is there and that people in my life will never truly have my back.
@Colonelmustardseed I’m sorry, that’s a disheartening position to be in. I hope it works our well quickly
bookerdana · M
Its a long and arduous walk....don't beat yerself up if you falter
@bookerdana Thank you. I know, but I’m really tired of falling so much. 😅 Like, when will anger not be my first response?
bookerdana · M
@Colonelmustardseed As an old Irish priest I knew ,just do your best and don't be disheartened..what else can anyone do??
Jarffff · 46-50
Thanks for sharing, i can feel your struggle, the verses you cite are powerful. As a believer, i encourage you to continue to seek God's guidance and His strength to get you through these trying days, it's a given that the life of faith is not a bed of roses, the world cannot fathom what's going on inside a heart, only God can, and perhaps a really good friend. Be well!!
@Jarffff Thank you. 🧡 It really isn’t easy to let go of anger and fear, especially in the moments. But God is good in every moment, and has never led me astray.
sam1992 · 31-35, M
You will be fine , It won't be difficult 🙂❤️
@sam1992 It’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do; forgiving and loving people, especially after things they do that harm me.
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@fun4us2b Thank you. 🫂

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