Identity... Identity... Identity...
Do you know who you are?
Do you have a deep sense of self?
Or are you still figuring that out?
Do you have a deep sense of self?
Or are you still figuring that out?
31-35, F
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Caraxes · 41-45, M
I think it’s been a problem most of my life is that I don’t know who I am and I don’t really understand what I want.
I will tell you I was broken after the failure of my marriage but I believe I was broken before that and that helped my marriage fail.
Anyway I don’t even know where to start to try and figure out those questions 👀😩
I will tell you I was broken after the failure of my marriage but I believe I was broken before that and that helped my marriage fail.
Anyway I don’t even know where to start to try and figure out those questions 👀😩
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Caraxes start with basic needs.
What type of bed do you like? (best sleep)
Are you living in an area you like?
Do you have a good support unit?(friends and or family)
Are you in the right job? Does it provide with enough money for you to have all the above?
What other things interest you?
Are there any places you'd like to go?
I don't you should focus too much on defining your identity but more focus on the things that give you a sense of belonging...
What type of bed do you like? (best sleep)
Are you living in an area you like?
Do you have a good support unit?(friends and or family)
Are you in the right job? Does it provide with enough money for you to have all the above?
What other things interest you?
Are there any places you'd like to go?
I don't you should focus too much on defining your identity but more focus on the things that give you a sense of belonging...
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Caraxes I felt like an alien for a long time.
But I realised that it's because I was surrounded by really selfish people.
Although I knew what I wanted from my life, the me me me people always made it about them.
They were distracting me from being able to live my life.
I never had a birthday party until I started to act like a stroppy teenager.
I had my first party at 17.
I never heard the end of how expensive it was.
The years after that I started working so I. Paid for my own meals and went out with my friends.
Even when I started earning, someone always seemed to want to take from me. Whether it was issues with paying a hill or lack of funds to buy travel to get to work.
It was overwhelming. And I snapped.
I'm a kind giving and loving person but it's not for me to parent those around me.
I have to focus on my own life.
Those people disappeared or started to bite back really hard.
And I was so lost, I actually started to question whether or not I was doing the right thing, wanting a life of my own.
You have to focus on your basic needs, once they're being met the rest kind of falls into place.
With that in mind do you really think your marriage ended because you had no identity. Or was it being provided for you?
But I realised that it's because I was surrounded by really selfish people.
Although I knew what I wanted from my life, the me me me people always made it about them.
They were distracting me from being able to live my life.
I never had a birthday party until I started to act like a stroppy teenager.
I had my first party at 17.
I never heard the end of how expensive it was.
The years after that I started working so I. Paid for my own meals and went out with my friends.
Even when I started earning, someone always seemed to want to take from me. Whether it was issues with paying a hill or lack of funds to buy travel to get to work.
It was overwhelming. And I snapped.
I'm a kind giving and loving person but it's not for me to parent those around me.
I have to focus on my own life.
Those people disappeared or started to bite back really hard.
And I was so lost, I actually started to question whether or not I was doing the right thing, wanting a life of my own.
You have to focus on your basic needs, once they're being met the rest kind of falls into place.
With that in mind do you really think your marriage ended because you had no identity. Or was it being provided for you?
Caraxes · 41-45, M
@Mellowgirl the marriage is a long complicated and probably boring thing for a public chat like this 😂 I truly think my lack of perceived identity played a role in the breakdown in my marriage along with a shit ton of other things.
I have two close friendship groups. One is fab and love being around them the other is toxic for me and for whatever reason I’m drawn towards them, I think to find my identity one of the things I would need to do is to walk away from the toxic friendship group 🤔
I have two close friendship groups. One is fab and love being around them the other is toxic for me and for whatever reason I’m drawn towards them, I think to find my identity one of the things I would need to do is to walk away from the toxic friendship group 🤔
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Caraxes as toxic as that friendship group may be, the fact you can see they're not great there's something still keeping you.
So perhaps you could address what keeps you going back...
Maybe they are a reflection of your complex psyche...
I don't want to say keep them in your life or get rid of them but maybe once you understand what the pull is to them you can work on replacing it with something and some healthier people.
Good luck to you... I hope I helped a little
So perhaps you could address what keeps you going back...
Maybe they are a reflection of your complex psyche...
I don't want to say keep them in your life or get rid of them but maybe once you understand what the pull is to them you can work on replacing it with something and some healthier people.
Good luck to you... I hope I helped a little
