Lately I’ve been getting up with my niece in the morning to watch the sunrise
She helps me out to the porch, makes us coffee or tea, and we sit and talk. Just us until the rest of the house begins to stir.
I make myself get up for it no matter how bad I am feeling because I know she cherishes this time. And I know she is afraid of the eventuality that I won’t be here anymore. She tells me that time never feels like enough to learn everything that she needs to.
She has so many questions that I am happy to answer but sometimes it makes me sad because I know what she is doing, trying to soothe her insecurities.
The truth is that she is the most capable of all of my children even if a little directionless now. Which is okay at her age and especially considering all that she has been through. Above all I just want her to cling to her childhood for as long as she can. To make up for when all she could do was survive.
She is kind, compassionate, and so giving. She makes sure everyone eats and has their creature comforts, even does her older sister’s laundry for her lol. Takes care of Iris like she is her own even though that has never been an expectation placed on her. She even mothers her friends like this. I remind her often to just relax and have fun, everyone is fine to fend for themselves. I think it is just her nature.
She inspires me a lot to be the best version of myself because she watches me so closely and hold me in such high regard. I don’t get it but I do I guess. I attached my my aunties much the some way growing up and ignored all their imperfections.
Still a lot of responsibility, though. I hope I am doing this right.
I make myself get up for it no matter how bad I am feeling because I know she cherishes this time. And I know she is afraid of the eventuality that I won’t be here anymore. She tells me that time never feels like enough to learn everything that she needs to.
She has so many questions that I am happy to answer but sometimes it makes me sad because I know what she is doing, trying to soothe her insecurities.
The truth is that she is the most capable of all of my children even if a little directionless now. Which is okay at her age and especially considering all that she has been through. Above all I just want her to cling to her childhood for as long as she can. To make up for when all she could do was survive.
She is kind, compassionate, and so giving. She makes sure everyone eats and has their creature comforts, even does her older sister’s laundry for her lol. Takes care of Iris like she is her own even though that has never been an expectation placed on her. She even mothers her friends like this. I remind her often to just relax and have fun, everyone is fine to fend for themselves. I think it is just her nature.
She inspires me a lot to be the best version of myself because she watches me so closely and hold me in such high regard. I don’t get it but I do I guess. I attached my my aunties much the some way growing up and ignored all their imperfections.
Still a lot of responsibility, though. I hope I am doing this right.
31-35, F
