Attempt #3 to ride the bus today -- mission accomplished!
The bus is inconvenient to use, but it's very clean and not at all crowded. I assume people just don't like riding it because the routes suck and the actual stops are very poorly maintained. That said, I happen to be touring a place where I wouldn't even need a bus if I lived there. Managed to find a shitty little apartment complex which is half an hour's walk from both work and a decent grocery store. The biggest downfall as of now is that the only parking is street parking. But you know what? I'll take it; it's like a suburban area so that's not the worst, and rent is very affordable. I knew I'd have to compromise on something if I wanted to ever settle something, and I guess that'll have to do.