Another Mother's Day approaching

For those who do not have a kind, loving or even accepting mother..it can be a day some dread. You feel an obligation to get them *something* but there comes a time when if you had a awful, cruel or despicable mother, you just don't WANT to get any gift anymore.

There's only so much one can take from a so called parent or Mom. I get sad seeing all the fun commercials of people going out to brunch or fun things with their mom, all the flowers, gifts.
One year I got her a beautiful bouquet of flowers on Mother's Day. She took them and looked disgusted. Threw them down and said, "I don't do flowers."
Sure, ok no problem. You're welcome for trying to get something nice. Another year this weekend of feeling sad, yet obligation that I want to shut down. 😟

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Mamapolo2016 · F

I cherish my role as a mother, but I do not believe bearing a child is an automatic magic talisman that bestows eternal honor and respect and love. A terrible mother who was neglectful or damaging has not earned that. I don’t think the child now grown is obligated to ‘return’ what they didn’t receive.

Do what you want to, but in my mind it is in no way a responsibility.

Baybreeze · 41-45, F

@Mamapolo2016 Thanks Mama. I started realizing that just because someone is a parent does not give them the right to torment their kid, and continue it until their adulthood too. And then expect GRATITUDE and respect 😮 It's just not going to work that way anymore. I liked something comedian George Carlin said once.."Parents also need to earn the respect of their children". Rarely does anyone say that. And it's VERY TRUE.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Baybreeze It is absolutely true.

Poppies · 61-69, F

My mother passed away more than 10 years ago. I used to do things for her and also for my mother-in-law (on Hub's behalf) on Mother's Day. In general, no one makes a big fuss for me on Mother's Day. My kids are adults and one of them has a child of his own now. They have made me know in many ways on many days that they do love and appreciate me, but Mother's Day is not a big deal in our family. Neither is Valentine's Day. No symbolic stuff. Still, I have a great family and a husband who tries hard.

Cigarguy · 41-45, M

I am not looking forward to it. It's been two years since their mother walked out on us and hasn't even tried to reach out to them. I know they miss her but I just don't know what to do to help them. They are both seeing a counselor at school and I let them talk about her as much as they need but I can't answer their question if why did mommy leave us

Baybreeze · 41-45, F

@Cigarguy Maybe you could say" perhaps one day we will see Mom again and perhaps we won't. But in her true heart she's always inside you no matter what. "🌻 That's only a thought, because even if the may not see her again or know why she left, it's important to feel as a kid, that your parent loves you in some way. (I felt near zero love from a mom who was near me, and I have PTSD from many awful things from her. )

Cigarguy · 41-45, M

@Baybreeze I never talk bad about about her in front of them. Even though I want to, I really do. Sometimes my boy asks me why she left and I just tell him hopefully one day she'll come back and tell us why she left. He seems ok that answer for now anyway. My daughter doesn't talk about her anymore and she even told her classmates she died. She said it was easier than telling them her mom walked out on us and never came back.

lissah · 36-40, F

I have flowers sent to the cemetery for my Mother.

legalboxers · M

hugs!!!

Scouser · 41-45, M

I didn’t get my mom anything

MrsRachelEvans · 31-35, F

Done and dusted here lol.

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