Are the holidays a trigger for anyone else?

And furthermore..if it's not one thing, it's your mother?

I went to my parents' to bring a candy bouquet to dad since he just got back in town from his back surgery.

My dad couldn't get up, so my mom 😒🙄 had to get the door. I was there for DAD, and dad ALONE..not.her.abusive.ass.

She kept interjecting and trying to talk to me, knowing full well she lied endlessly in our counseling session, saying I BRANDISHED A BUTCHER KNIFE at her, threatening her LIFE, etc.

As I was leaving, she perkily said that a family friend made them chicken noodle soup, and she had saved me some, and would I like to hang out there for a little while.

NO. I would NOT like to be cajoled with FOOD after the food addiction you instigated, mother. NO. I would NOT like to pal around with you after you ruined my entire family and took my nieces and nephews from me.

Grrr. She gets EXACTLY what she wants when she does this. A sob story that "Brittany is so rude", when I am just drawing a RESOLUTE BOUNDARY.

Don't get me started on the BOUNDARIES book she gifted me!!!!! I drove home weeping. This will be my 4th Christmas alone, and dad looked so weak and old 😪😪😪

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Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

You're not alone. Christmas was never happy safe times when I grew up. I remember fights. Blood and abuse. Destroyed Christmas presents. Being locked out from the house in -20. Mom taking off abandoning us kids. Grandpa going in with ambulance. And I was badly abused by my ex one Christmas too. I escaped and ran outside on the winter night storm and waited for a car to pick me up and just take me away. But maybe I'd just end up in a new dangerous situation so I went back with my tail between my legs hoping he'd understand..

Thank you for this post. It's hard hearing people go "WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS TRADITION?"

And just not coming up with any good memory. Makes me sad.

I have good holiday memories with my boyfriend but I don't really remember them that well. I just remember what didn't happen. I'm probably very dissociative during the Christmas holidays.

What I look forward to the most is when my brother in law comes cause he has a dog. And it makes me so happy to be around dogs because my old dog was the only good happy part about Christmas. I could take him out when it was too much noise inside and we would enjoy the winter stars and how silent the whole neighborhood is and just me and him. Happiness.

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@Queendragonfly https://voca.ro/1exU83ZGv96R

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@foldedunfolding If you sent a voice note I can't hear any sound for some reason.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@foldedunfolding Maybe I need to have the program you sent it from?

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@Queendragonfly no..there isnt an app or anything..i can hear it on my end..not sure

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@foldedunfolding Both me and my boyfriend tried putting our heads together to figure it out but we couldn't find anything , I'm hopeless with technology 😑