It’s hard adulting especially by yourself

Im 28 ,im literally on my own , I don’t run for help, i this year was my first year making a thanksgiving dinner which came out descent.. edible lol. My ex put me down one time for cooking so late in life.. I come from nothing, my adoptive mom raised me. She was older and sick by my teen years . I just ate bullshit…she had aides and when I’d ask them to show me to cook it would get awkward so I stopped beeping in the kitchen. When my mom died , I went into the world with the little I know. I still google things , I feel so independent but at times it’s overwhelming. I always pray for god to pave a way to always watch over me because I don’t care for myself as much as I do and push my body pass its limits. Where my chest has just started hurting . No one really checks on me but I make sure no one sees me ever fall or see how lonley I am.. .. I don’t ask for shit! I’d see why men target me and that’s always on my mind too, where i can’t trust anyone.. l wish things were different..