I Need to Take Better Care of Myself

Unfortunately, it's not magic and it's kind of like the statement of the obvious. Train your mind to focus on the present and future instead of the past in context with the past. In other words, what you and I tend to do is look at the past in isolation at how it hurt us, rejected us, marked us for life, etc. (insert your "condition"). Over time, that becomes overpowering and disabling because carrying the past is a heavy load. Don't repress what happened (trust me, that only leads to more unimaginable problems), but dilute it with this contextual connection with what you want in your present and future.

For me, my past is leaving me perpetually sad, sometimes feeling desperate, and mostly convinced I can't escape what must be my fate of always being an outsider (looking in). For the times when the antidote works though, I am able to make progress by escaping from a concentration on how "I got here" and instead see the potential I have to leave the past behind (where it belongs). Obviously, it's just a mental game and test of will. Like I say, it's not a magic solution and it's not suddenly life-changing. When it does work, I feel the power that comes from having hope in a plan. When it doesn't work, well... it kind of feels like defeat. For the record, I feel defeated today. But, when it works...

The past often haunts us and holds us hostage. I have found only one antidote and it doesn't even work all the time.

Do tell me of this "antidote" i could use it right now...

Awww hugs..