I’m afraid of growing… it might seem silly bc here I am 35 years in and i dont know what to do or how to ground myself

I spent the last 10 yrs having a major crush on my neighbor and that grounded me- but now that I realize he’s stupid and doesn’t deserve me and i dont know what To do for a job anymore or who i want to be … I honestly feel like I’m lost…The fear part is not knowing what to do besides going back to things that don’t make me happy, bc it’s safe…I feel dumb and lost these days. I anm not liking this drifting through life feeling… Anyone have tips for staying grounded while being lost?

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Cyclist · 46-50, M

Two ideas, in order of importance.
1 - Go back to school and learn a new skill. Then try to develop a career out of it. Embrace the new challenges doing something you think you may like.
2 - Let yourself immerse in nature activities. Explore wilderness areas, trails and parks. Learn about their history. And then find groups online with similar interests. And then meet them and explore together. Nature can do wonders for the soul.