is it usual for an elderly parent not to remember certain memories from long ago

i'm just looking for reassurance really.

i was talking to my elderly mother on the phone earlier and i was sharing some nostalgic wonderful memories with my mum of when i was small, about 8 years old and she took me to wimpy's fast food place in the city centre where we lived then, she took me one rainy afternoon...and its one of my wonderful cherished memories.

but my mother told me she couldn't remember that memory? and i said it broke my heart because that was one memory i hoped she'd remember...she said 'no' but she remember when we were small...in the family home back then, and the rooms we had, the little bedrooms we had and me and my sister getting up in the early hours on christmas mornings.........so she recalled those memories.....but my mother said she couldn't recall that special memory of her taking me to wimpys in around 1984, on a rainy afternoon?

my mothers in good health for her age, she's doing okay...but it just worried me that she never remembered that special memory i had of me and my mother back then?

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4meAndyou · F Best Comment

Not every person remembers every single thing...not even when they are young!

THAT day was probably not AS special to your Mom as it was to you...and NO ONE has enough storage room in their memory for every single thing they do...so they store the things that are important to THEM to save. Your Mom just chose to remember OTHER things and save those memories important to HER instead.

YOU chose to remember and store that particular visit to Wimpy's. YOU and your Mom have two different sets of brain storage.

When older people get Alzheimer's disease, or dementia, their earliest life memories are crystal clear to them, and they remember them like it was yesterday and will tell you all about what they did the day they went to the fair when they were 7 years old...it's the most recent memories that are destroyed.

durinsBane1983 · 46-50, M

@4meAndyou thankyou for your feedback, i was a little anxious about it at the time, hope you're doing well, not seen you on my posts for a while, trying to make my posts more positive.

4meAndyou · F

@durinsBane1983 Thank you for best comment!

Achelois · F

If my kids brought up a memory going to a fast food joint from their childhood, I probably wouldn’t remember either, unless it was a special occasion.

That’s your special memory that stayed with you, I have loads of memories that non of my family remember.

Heartlander · 80-89, M

It goes both ways...the intensity of things on my memory list, my kids memory list, my parents memory list don't always align. Probably for a lot of different reasons. One being memory warp. Like visit a house or place that you haven't been to in 30 or 40 years and it's no longer like what's stored on memory. The rooms are bigger or smaller, the smell is different. Run into people that you haven't seen in 30 or 40 years and they aren't the same people you remembered.

Our brains have circuitry that enhances vision and sound, it creates borders around objects to enhance depth, blocks out or silences some sounds so we can better hear the sounds that are important. My guess is that it also alters memories, to make them better or not so important.

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